Fantasies

Everyday I masturbate 2 times. At the least. Generally before I go to bed, and before I go to work (I work the night shift). One's to help me sleep, the other's to help relax me before work takes over. I'd say it's almost mechanical, as it's more for the release than anything else. But the nice part about it are the fantasies, the little mini stories that give me nice ideas to relay to Master.

Like, being in a truck yard and being led around by a leash until we find a suitable trucker for me to service. Having the man bend me over right in the lot and take me while Master watches, whispering little orders, enjoying as I get closer and closer and finally telling me to cum so the poor trucker can experience what it's like when a woman orgasms.

Or being tied up in front of a bunch of people, with another little sub between my legs, eating me out with a tongue vibrator and trying to push me over the edge while I try my best not to cum in front of everyone.

Or being bent over and tied to a horse, red ass in the air, toys purring away, listening to Master call me a good girl as his cock slowly sinks into my ass, filling me up as I'm covered in lash marks and toys.

So... yeah, I have good fantasies ^_^

A week's time

It's much harder to separate the events of an entire week's vacation than it was to keep track of an extended weekend stay. The really important part? Best Vacation so far <3

The close second? I got to wear my collar.

I don't think I could describe to someone who doesn't get bdsm how incredible of a feeling it was. Words kind of failed me even when Master put it on me. Face to face, naked but for some cuffs (I think), I don't remember even managing a thank you. I was too afraid to talk, worried my voice would crack, afraid the sound would open the gates of emotion and I'd just start crying right there.

It's beautiful. Light blue and white leather, with a nice soft interior and three rings on it.

Part of me wanted to cry, it was an item I'd craved for years, something I wanted to not only earn, but receive from someone that I could call my Master. Someone who had enough of my respect, trust, and heart to not just demand any such title, but wait for me to want to use it.

Another part of me didn't want to take it off. I wanted to be able to wear it constantly. I wanted the whole world to see, and for those in the know to know. I can't say 100% that I have the guts to actually wear it in front of my family, decidedly vanilla that they are, but I doubt I would've argued the point.

I've fantasized about this lifestyle for years. Easily since I was 19, if not before then. Now that I'm in it, now that I'm learning more and more about the complexities, the layers, the mental vs. physical vs. emotional - I'm so fulfilled and happy that I don't care to keep it a secret.

At the same time it's something intimate. Between two people, a bond in more than just the physical.

*wanders off with a happy little sigh*  It was a good week, and I'll get into it more later.

Mind Fuckery

I'm pretty sure my Master has a PhD. in Mind Fuckery. Before I go on my little rant/rave/whatever let me preface it all by saying this:

Best. Degree. Ever.

Okay, so now that we understand I love it, let's move on shall we? The conversation starts with "Well, that *WAS* the plan." (key word highlighted by me, you're welcome). And my reaction was pretty standard well, if that was the plan, I'd love it to continue being the plan, so I will volunteer to help the plan happen!

In this case the plan being buy books on rope work so as to spend some absolutely blissful time learning knots and ropework and me just generally getting to be bound. Awesome. Delicious.

Devious rat Master.

So I volunteer - I'll happily go by said books. "So glad you volunteered, pet." and then he proceeds to explain they'll be instructions. Oh... goody. For... for in public. Yeah, cause this doesn't make me nervous at all...

So for a couple days I'm pretty thoroughly convinced that I'm going to making a trip to my favorite book store stuffed full of vibrating toys trying desperately to both NOT cum, and not let any one within ear shot hear the vibes. It's not that I wouldn't do it - I had no intention of popping off with my safety word and calling the whole thing off. But... without Master actually -there-, well, eh. I wasn't looking forward to it, we'll say that.

And then earlier he has me on the phone, a test run he says. All vibed up, all shivering and changing the remotes as he instructs me to, listening to him describe how the events of the next day when I go to the store are going to unfold. The idea of it, his way with words, the feel of the vibrators, the desire of wanting to be watched, of wanting people to know what a slutty good little pet I am for my Master, all of it crashed together and I came.

A lot.

Hell, even Master lost count after some point.

And so there I am, exhausted, shaking, soaking wet, how I got onto my bed from having fell to my knees at the start I don't remember, and what does he say?? What comes out of that ever-loving wonderful mouth of his??

"Now that you've done all this tonight pet, there's no reason to worry about it tomorrow when you go to the book store." (Or something very similar to that).

Like I said, P-h-fucking-D in Mind Fuckery.

He's lucky I love him XD

(and he reminded me that he had in fact said he wouldn't have me do something like that without him around because of the safety issues, so derp on my part too ^^; )