Monday

Monday started off nice and easy, but then Master decided to queue up a video of a Japanese woman who was tied up in various outfits and fucked by strangers on a bus.

Needless to say it had the desired effect on me that I'm sure he was going for.

I don't remember much before he used the leather hogtie to secure me to a chair, but I'm sure Master's deft fingers teased the hell out of me. Just locking me into place on the chair had a serious effect. I could feel my entire body wake up - every little touch, breeze, thought, it was all on edge.

And then came the wand. Its haitus broken from Friday night. My welcome and now my farewell, Master drove me to the edge, blurring my mind, making my body yearn for the unavoidable orgasm that powerful vibrator commanded. When he stopped I nearly cried. I'm pretty sure I whimpered. I look forward to the day when I get to cum to that powerful vibrator, begging for it to stop as opposed to begging for release.

The video still played as he attended me, it was 3 hours long and I think I spent 2 secured to the chair.  Squirming, wet, distracted by the scene playing out before me, distracted from that by Master's attention. Struggling to watch the video and not lose myself so much to the sensation that I couldn't obey.

He painted dirty words on my flesh with chocolate, rewarded me with his cock down my throat, made me twitch and jump and shiver with suppressed nervous laughter as he dripped wax on my exposed body. The ache in my limbs was delicious, enough to remind me I was held fast, and light enough to not really hurt at all. The feel of the flog and wax distracted me, the building orgasms flooded over it. Cold water from icecubes sent my world in a different direction, everything came together to make the eventual orgasm(s) melt in such a way I'm not sure when the sensations ended and the orgasms began. But Master's words, his command, my body reacts to happily, and I want it no other way.

It's hard to describe a wonderful experience to someone who has never felt it. How do you relate the colors of the rainbow to a blind person? How do you describe the elation and trust and euphoria to someone jaded? I spent my entire life clumsy, feeling awkward and ugly as though everything I touched turned to filth and crumbled.

This lifestyle, that man, my world now is whole and beautiful and at peace. I don't remember when but I know at one point during my stay I just started crying. I wasn't sad, I was happy and a little afraid. I was so relieved to feel so wonderful that I didn't know how to handle it. I'd never been so at peace before, so happy, and my tears were relief - relief and fear that I would do something to destroy it all. That some flaw would bubble to the surface that wouldn't be forgiven.

And even if something like that does happen it's going to be okay. These moments, that weekend, if that's all I'm allowed to have I can accept that. To know what was missing in my life all these years, even if its fleeting, is incredible.  I have faith though - this isn't fleeting, it isn't something that was only going to happen once - this is my life now and I embrace it with all the joy and happiness I have <3

Sunday

I'm quite proud of myself with how Sunday started out. Master and I have spoken a lot about what we enjoy, visually, physically, etc (communication is key, after all), and so when I put together a "surprise" outfit for him I was pretty sure it was going to have the desired effects.

What do you know, it did. <3

It was a short christmas-y kind of dress that buttons all the way down the front, white thigh highs and heels I had to buy on my way to the airport because I couldn't find any >.> I didn't even have to ask and Master kept his eyes closed until I was standing in front of him, his reaction was worth every penny =D

After his initial reaction wore off the rope came out. He took his time tying me up and I reveled in every minute of it. Securing my arms behind my back he had me lay down on the couch and with quite a bit of length from my wrists to my ankles he tied both points up. The rope was snug the resistance was wonderful <3 I was wet and squirmy before anything else happened. I'd wanted to be tied up for Years, and this was a nice introduction to being restrained with -just- rope. The feel of it against my skin is so nice I'm almost tempted to go out and buy some and start practicing tying myself into a simple rope dress.

Out came a camera and the egg - I swear Master never misses a chance to drive me bonkers with that damned thing. (Heck, the egg might've come into play before the rope, things get kinda blurry once Master's in charge ^^; ). If the camera wasn't embarrassing enough he also started using a video camera, which had an effect I wasn't entirely expecting - it made me even hornier than I already was. At this point the sensations and actions all kind of glopped together, and forget trying to watch the video to jog my memory, Master played back some (or all) of what he recorded after the fact and I couldn't bring myself to watch it then.

I doubt I'd have much better luck now ^^;

The session was, I think, the shortest one we'd had up to that point (and possibly the entire weekend), but it was pretty intense. At least on my end, with the cameras and rope and such. I can close my eyes and see bits and pieces as short clips and pictures in my mind, I can hear his voice slipping in and out of the mewling moans and gasps he demands from my body. It's exhausting and I cling to him after each session like a tired swimmer, finding reprieve after treading water for hours.

And for the first time in my life, I feel whole. Completed not just by the man I trust and love, but by the moments and desires we share. There's no sense of wrong, or unnatural - rather it's a feeling that things are as they are. Right and proper and working as intended.