The End of a Year

2011 was kind of crazy for me. I probably dated more people from 2010 to 2011 than I had in the last 6 or so years. I was looking for something, and in all honesty it wasn't a bdsm relationship. I wanted to be in one of those, don't get me wrong. The desire, the need, the want, it was there, I just was sure it wasn't going to be something I'd find.

What I had been searching for was something different. I wanted someone that I could share my life with, someone who could accept me - faults and all - and still want to wake up besides me every morning. I wanted to kiss someone and actually feel the sensation run through my body. My life had turned into accepting things, settling for what was okay even though I yearned for something more.

Something better. Greater.

I didn't full realize what all it was I wanted to find, all I knew was that age, distance, appearances - those things were pretty low on my list. The best looking men I'd ever had in my life had hurt me deeply; mentally physically emotionally. We're talking ten or so years ago, so I suppose I can be forgiven for being a little shallow. In their defense I didn't know what *I* wanted anyway, so it didn't help things.

Now, I've found what I've been looking for. 30 years, well, we'll take some time off that, 16 years I've been looking for someone to complete me. I've felt awkward and lost and incapable of fitting in since I was 14, if not before then. I had fear and shame and was sure there was no one who would both understand me, and accept me.

My hope for the new year is that the wonderful way this year ended will carry over. I hope I can explain to people the things that make this relationship awesome, maybe help alleviate some misconceptions, and lift the veil on misunderstandings. I hope I can write, and work, and continue being able to walk and such, and most of all I hope I can spend the year (and many there after) next to my Master ^_^ Because I've spent time alone, I know I'm strong enough to spend my life alone if that's what I have to do.

Honestly though, it's nice knowing you've got someone willing to sit on the porch and sip lemonade while the sun sets. Admittedly, I'm scared out of my mind that I'll do something to screw the whole thing up (oh god you talk about being a bundle of nerves!), but I'm sure it'll be okay. I can spazz out and ramble at high speeds, and I'm sure the response most of the time is going to be a pat on the head and a cookie XD <3

Piercings

I won't lie, I enjoy looking at porn. It helps my imagination when I want to think of a fantasy, it certainly doesn't hurt with getting in the mood for things, and pictorial or video doesn't matter either. What I've noticed lately is that there's a lot of artwork out there where the sub has nipple and clit piercings.

Now maybe I'm fixating on this fact or something, but it looks like every time I turn around I see it. I get the kind of symbolism behind it, don't get me wrong, but it aggravates me in a way. As if it's a requirement for a sub to have piercings to be a sub. I'm sure there's femdoms out there with the same piercings, and I'm doubly sure (since I am a sub) that there's subs out there without any piercings. I don't even have my ears pierced. It just bugs me, and when I did have my ears pierced as a kid I had all kinds of issues, infections, green ears, hard times getting earrings in, etc.

The more I see of it in drawings and videos the more I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Or not so much wrong as not completely right. It's like subliminal peer pressure, and the worst part is I've got such a horrible fear of needles that it's not something I can just go out and do or try.

All in all it's just aggravating, and it seems like I can't get away from it much anymore, which sucks because its a bit of a turn off for me. Live or animated or as a painting, I see those sensitive areas pierced and I just wince - whatever else is going on become irrelevant. v.v And really, it's no big deal, I know my Master isn't going to leave me just because I won't get piercings in odd places, I guess it's just the feeling of not being able to get away from the association that bugs me the most.

*wanders off into a corner and continues to grumble* <3

Happy holidays!

Here's hoping everyone has a wonderful safe and happy holiday! Feel free to be nutritionally irresponsible, and if you have a ride then perhaps wholly irresponsible is acceptable. Remember the reason for the season.

Good food, good friends, and good fun!

Though maybe some people's idea of such things varies a bit from my own...

Remember to leave out the milk and cookies, if the big guy doesn't show up at least your pet - wrapped up and waiting to be open in the morning I'm sure - will have something to snack on that night <3

*hums All I Want For Christmas is You* <3

Four Letter Words

Quite a while back I sent a text to my Master and told him I missed him. I started musing on that word, and how words that are only four letters can hold so much meaning and have such a small impact on a piece of paper. Or even to be spoken. I'd actually wrote down a lot of what I had thought at that time, but since misplaced the notes. Which is fine, the idea is still in my head, and writing it down a second time won't hurt.

I realize, there's a LOT of four letter words (I've used quite a few already, if you haven't noticed). But there's ones that just have such an impact.
Love
hate
help
evil
miss
hope
fear
hurt
harm
gone
here
ever
give
take

There's just so much to them, and they're words that can have many meanings too. From negative to positive, you can't really put them in one category or another. 'Evil' can be just as playful as anything, 'fear' can be an emotion used to enhance others - pleasure and pain both. Hurt and harm are pretty straight forward, but there's many ways to effect someone with either of those. Skinning my elbows hurts, feeling sad hurts my heart, getting snapped with the flog hurts, but all three of those are completely different kinds of hurt. And while I tend to see hurt as something reversible and harm as something that's not, most people tend to use those words interchangably.

You can give love, take love, hurt love, harm love, twist, beat, maim, and even break it. Love compels you to defense, protection, gives you a sense of self-worth and fear. It is, I think,  the single most powerful emotion. Those we love, we trust. They have the greatest ability to bring us the greatest of elation and the worst of sorrows. Libraries have entire floors dedicated to that one single emotion. Books upon books, from religious texts to sappy children's poems, the power of love invades them all. Billions of words written on the matter, and it's such a small almost inconsequential word.

Hate, sadly, is likely second only to the idea of love. It comes in as many levels and strengths as love, but unlike love it usually destroys the person consumed by it. There's no much outside assistance needed when it comes to this particular word. It's a very exhausting emotion too, I've always joked that I don't have the energy to hate anyone, and in my life I've probably dealt with people that I have the right to feel that way towards.

But all that stems from the simple fact that my Master isn't here now, and that's what I want more than anything. As an adult I understand that I need to wait for certain things to happen before I can have what I want. As a woman in love I understand that I need to wait for certain things to happen before I can have what I need. As an increasingly saddened love struck fool I'm thinking I should get a second job to move things along a little faster XD

Location, Location, Location

Remember the story Green Eggs and Ham? And the fellow who could not, would not, eat them anywhere? Yeah. I'm kind of that guy's opposite when ti comes to where I'm willing to do a scene.

Boat, house, bard, yard, pool, bar, hospital, dungeon, living room, closet, shower, bed, porch, car, park, club, etc. My only two stipulations are no innocent children, and little to no chance in getting thrown in jail for it.

And the location doesn't HAVE to be authentic. I don't need an actual hospital to play "doctor". (Though I do have this somewhat twisted desire to be horribly taboo and naughty within the walls of a monastary >.>) We have nude beaches (and beach isn't the place to have sex, please play responsibly), it'd be awesome to have nude adult parks or trails.

Certain scenes - such as the naughty school girl - really shouldn't be done in an actual school. College campus maybe, and hell on some you could have at and no one would even bat an eye. Pool scenes shouldn't involve sex in the water itself, stuff makes for a really bad lubricant, and can lead to infections (same with beach sand). Leave stuff like that in the hentais where they belong.

Cars should be in park (or in parks), and motorcycles are only safe as background props - kick stands aren't THAT sturdy. Bicycles don't work in my mind, but I'm sure I could find some fun uses for bicycle racks.

In international waters you can be more devious, but so can everyone else, keep that in mind before taking the boss' yacht out for a spin.

The risk of getting caught does add something to a scene, but be sure to remember that even the most secluded and intimate scene can be the most intense. And if both people aren't comfortable outdoors there are many indoor options (or at the least, less risky outdoor ones). Keep in mind the concept of nosy neighbors, maybe a taller backyard fence is in order, or higher hedges.

Elevators are another "fun" place, as an ex-security guard though, let me offer some advice - Most have cameras. Some that feed to more than one place, and honestly, unless you get stuck in one, they never move slow enough to have any real fun in.

-:- The Tape -:- (Chapter 1)

Chapter 1

Her mind wasn’t awake, but her body was. Ugh, mornings sucked. Mornings after a long night of… of… hrm. What had happened last night anyway?

Rolling onto her side, she glanced at the clock. 2pm.

Wait.

“Holy crap!” She sat bolt upright. Her mind began to catch up with the rest of her and she noticed quite a few things all at once.

She was naked except for her collar and wrist and ankle cuffs. There were a lot of toys with her on the bed, both under and on top of the blankets. Whatever happened last night she cursed her memory a thousand times over that she couldn’t remember.

Wands, vibrators, rotors, tape, flogs of various sizes and materials, nipple clamps – she looked down and checked that those wicked things hadn’t ripped hers off. She was surprised to see there was rope lying around, Master was really good about rolling it back up.

Oh, and a tag on the bottom of the TV that simply read “Play”.

Looking around she noticed the VCR remote next to her. With a shrug she clicked the TV on and hit play.

Her face went red almost instantly as her very horny self came into view. There were at least two other people, her Master – who was in the process of tying her up to the bed face down and her ass high in the air due to all the pillows under her hips – and the camera man.

He was careful not to let the rope actually touch her skin, as he tied her legs wide and her arms straight out from her shoulders. As she watched herself on the TV it became apparent the wireless rotor was in her pussy, and her ass was filled with the small plug.

Her Master was fully clothed, but that wouldn’t last. She couldn’t remember who the second person was, there was talk on the tape, but the volume was soft. She turned it up just in time to hear the crack of the flog against her ass. Both versions of her jumped. She could feel herself getting wet already, the video version of her was already soaked to the point of practically dripping.

On camera she was begging for more, sticking her ass out as best she could. On the bed she was squirming, trying to pull her eyes away from the video, too embarrassed to watch, too curious to turn it off.

The flog painted her ass red, sending shivers through her body as she watched. Her Master’s hands roamed over her skin, lighting little sparks of pleasure.

The camera man clicked a remote, the rotor stuffed inside the whore on the screen came to life, making her shiver with delight. Her Master’s hand seemed to randomly decide to either tease her clit or soundly smack her ass. Her yelps of surprise mixed well with the pleasurable moans.

Yes he made her feel good no matter what he did to her. She was his whore, his pet, his twisted little pain slut, and his very horny toy all in one.

He leaned down and whispered something in her ear, but as she watched, she couldn’t remember what it was. Then it came on screen. The wand.

“My friend wants to hear you cum, pet.”

She watched the wand press against her clit. She felt her body jolt as it whirred into life. Please tore through her as she watched, panting as the TV version of her moaned and begged and pleaded to be allowed to cum.

The camera panned to her face, instantly both versions of her went beet red.

“Keep your eyes on the camera pet, stay focused on it and cum for your Master.”

It was barely a breath after his command and the tied up slut on the screen came hard and loud. Her position shoved the rotor out of wet sopping pussy, the vibrations still audible as she came down from her first orgasm.

“Good girl.”

She nearly came sitting on the bed, just from hearing him say that. The ball gag came out, big and shiny and red, he tightened it into place. The wand was taken from the picture, and a smaller wired rotor was taped just above her clit. She could cum from it, but it wouldn’t happen as fast.

As it purred to life, buzzing against her body, the reason for the gag became apparent as wax dripped onto her body. He covered her liberally, the rotor and the wax trapping her body squarely between pleasure and pain.

The rotor clicked off, the wax stopped. Her mind was hazy, she wasn’t grasping the words in the video. She was laying on her back, legs spread, playing with her clit, panting and watching the show laid out before her.

“A squirmy toy for a squirmy pet.” The words rang in her mind more of memory than of actually hearing them on the screen. The pink thrusting vibrator was pushed into her greedy, needy pussy. Two long strips of tape keeping it in place.

As it sprung to life out came the bite of the snappy flog. It bit at the back of her thighs, her calves, as the evil vibe invaded her sensitive wet hole. Her muffled cries were the perfect mix of pleasure and pain, frustrated about the distraction from her pleasure. Her body tensed and she screamed as the flog snapped on the soles of her feet. She twisted and writhed as it licked at her arms. She moaned and panted when he stopped, letting the thrusting vibe bring her back to the brink of another orgasm before he turned it off.

Her and her TV self both nearly sobbed. A sharp smack to her ass, a firm reminder that she wasn’t supposed to pout, she was supposed to enjoy however her Master decided to use her. The tone of her voice as she apologizes is dripping with the pleasure her mind is swimming in.

The plug is slowly removed from her ass, and her Master takes his time, working more lube into her hot, tight hole, before slowly pushing the medium sized plug in. He purrs for her to relax, teasing her clit with his free hand to help keep her unfocused.

As it slips into place he calls her a good girl, that phrase – that tone – that just makes her melt.

The thrusting vibe is removed swiftly, the rotor taped to her clit comes back to life with a vengeance as her Master’s cock (when did he strip? Oh Lord…) filled her pussy in one full move.

She nearly came while watching and she was pretty sure her TV self did. Panting, trembling, blushing, and soaking wet she hit stop on the remote. She couldn’t take much more, the toys were all around her, she could use them, but it wouldn’t feel the same. They weren’t what she desired. She wanted him, needed him.

“You haven’t watched the whole thing, pet.” He said slyly, standing in the doorway. Even with as soft as he’d spoken she jumped from the sound.

She got on her hands and knees, crawling to the edge of the bed, nuzzling his hand as his fingers wove themselves into her hair. A strong tug pulls her up to her knees, her body held tight against his.

“Sorry Master, I needed to stop, for just a moment. I wanted you, I didn’t want to cum without you here.” She admitted, her fingers closing gently on his shirt. Her body was on edge, and needy, and his iron grip on her hair did nothing but exacerbate her position. The smile that slipped across his face made her breath catch for a moment.

“You were a very good girl last night, pet.” He assured her. He released his grip and handed her a drink. “A very good, wet, messy pet. Drink up, we’ll start it back up after you finish that,” he explained, stripping down as she drank, “And have had a shower.”

I'd worry

But let me be honest, I don't really care.

And about what? Well, my Master's voice has quite the profound effect on me. I can hear it while I'm alone masturbating, squirming and riding that edge just a little bit longer than I used to. I can feel the warmth of his breath on my neck, as though he's circling around me, enjoying the show, whispering the commands that are just so easy to follow. I miss actually hearing him, I miss actually feeling his touch or having his presence be something more than part of my very strong imagination.

Long distance does that, but far apart doesn't last forever.

What worries me, slightly, is that when I can't conjure the sound of his voice, when I can't close my eyes and get lose in some random fantasy in which he's a part of, I can't cum. Now, I have an excellent imagination, I do, this isn't something that happens often. It's not like I go days and days without release (unless of course I'm under orders not to cum to begin with), but it's more like I fall asleep because I'm exhausted from trying to cum, as opposed to being exhausted from cumming.

Before now it's always felt... well, less awesome, cumming in an empty room, as opposed to orgasming around him. The phone helps, just knowing he's there in a way is better than nothing. It does leave a girl wanting though, believe you me.

I'd say maybe I'm getting less horny in my uh, "old" age, but at the same time I'm not worried about that. The desire, drive, need, etc is all still there, but it's more like the trigger for the shot isn't in my hands anymore. I don't know if this is just something that happens between a Master and pet, or if it's because of certain aspects. Maybe I'm just that kind of sub, maybe he's just that kind of dom - I've got to admit I don't have enough knowledge regarding either role to know if this sort of thing is even normal. If it's a phase, permanent, if it'll get "worse" or "better", etc.

And really, I can't bring myself to complain. Pout, maybe, just a little, but not complain. <3

Quietly

The last couple times Master's let me cum lately has been during times when I kind of need to be quiet. Specifically because they are other people in the house, and while I'm an adult and I'm allowed to be naughty, it's not something I'm quite ready to advertise to the entire world.

It certainly adds a layer to things though, so wet so squirmy so horny and trying so desperately to not scream my happy little head off when the wave crests and my whole body enjoys the ride. Of course, Master doesn't let me cum just once, oh no, that would be too easy, wouldn't it?

For anyone curious, my house coat tastes like laundry soap. Just saying.

Even as I sit here and write this, letting my mind wander to what it can remember of the last two over the phone sessions we had, I can't help but squirm. Certain desires, certain wants, are starting to beat down the walls of my own personal insecurities. Less and less in my own fantasies do I seem to care about my own personal appearance. How I look on the outside doesn't impact my interior desires. It certainly doesn't impact the overall sensations of a scene either. The only thing my weight holds me back on are certain positions, because an over-weight sub isn't an easy one to pick up and move around as one pleases.

This will be rectified.

It used to not only be an issue when it came to what was actually physically possible, but also with what I was comfortable wearing/doing in public settings. As the days pass I find myself caring less and less about my appearance In That Regard. It's not that I mean I've stopped showering or shaving or things like that, it's more it's becoming less of an issue. So I'm over weight. Whoopie do. It used to make me feel... less, or ugly, but lately it's less well, weighty on my mind. I'm more curious the feelings and emotions that come along with being in certain, shall we say, showier situations.

Besides, the orgasm - while absolutely incredible - is just the icing on the cake. Everything else - the scene the sensations, the emotions, the connection - all that stuff's the cake. Cake can be awesome without icing. Icing on its own however is just kinda... meh.

Musing (Rambling)

So I have this tendency to just kind of sit and sigh and think about the relationship I'm in. (happy sigh! Happy siiiigh!). And I just really get to thinking about certain aspects of it, how it works, how it hasn't worked for me in the past, etc. (Oh hey, look my grammar doesn't care today... starting sentences with and...).

I realize as I get ready to write this, how weird it's going to sound, but I used to be the one in charge in a relationship. I didn't have to, you know, initiate sex - that's not what I mean. I mean I had to be the responsible one. Which wouldn't have been so bad, if I hadn't been the ONLY responsible one. I worked two jobs sometimes, lived off of rice for a month at a time, just to make sure that the rent and other such bills were paid. It wasn't fun, and it most likely was what led to a lot of my past breakups.

My current relationship is a lot more balanced. When my mind's mush and I can't really take on anything more, he's there to give me strength - and the opposite's true. This is proven already. But it gets me to thinking about things I don't really feel I need to come to a conclusion to - I just let my mind wander over 'em.

Like, does BDSM lend itself more to a kind of natural relationship balance? Is the extra open-ness, trust, and communication that's needed between a Dom and a sub something that simply makes it easier to have a healthy relationship outside scenes? Or is a relationship between two people who share a love of bdsm just as hit or miss as a vanilla relationship? I'd assume there's people out there (well, Doms specifically, since this is my point of view after all), that don't listen for crap. They do what they want and don't really respect and/or respond to their partner's needs or wants. Then you have something that's more abusive than anything else.

From what I've experienced of the Kink community however, there's some pretty open lines of communication amongst everyone. If you can talk to someone about the things that crop up mid-scene or shortly after - or even talking to people about fantasties you'd like to see come true, then I would imagine that it's easier to reach out to someone and get help.

But talking about kink isn't like talking about abuse. It's not easy. It's a shameful thing and it's really hard to talk about. A lot of time's the person being abused thinks they deserve it, or that it's not abuse, that it's the way a normal relationship is. And I'm sure there's people out there who think a bdsm relationship IS abuse, and complaining about it would be laughable.

If it feels like abuse though, it's Not bdsm. It's abuse. There's a damned bloody difference. I've been through both. Abuse made me feel small and worthless and alone. I wanted to die, to just get away from the supposed pain I had to be causing everyone else. It was horrible.

The relationship I have now is so much the opposite of that I don't even know where to begin. My Master makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful specialist perfectest person in the whole world! \o/ It's hard to try and describe it without making up words ^_^

Shotgun

Once certain things had been taken care of (read that as legal obligations handled), things slipped back into a very nice and very missed routine between me and my Master.

He gave me orders to go about my normal routine, meaning to masturbate at the times I generally do anyway, but that I wasn't allowed to cum. Fortunately he didn't drag it out too long, but I had work the night he started this, and was also expected to work myself into a near frenzy during breaks.

The part that made it hard to not cum? Taking pictures to show Master I was doing as told. I knew it was more because he wanted to see, and less because he wanted actual proof (he trusts me to be horny, I know =D ). But actually taking the pictures was almost as much of a turn on as working myself up to taking them. And the one I took while in the car (thank you heavily frosted morning windows...), was the most effective by far. The drive home was a little shivery, and it had nothing to do with the cold air.

It was the phone call that followed that afternoon, during Master's break, orgasms always feel better with his commands pushing them on. We tried something new, which was using med-tape to hold the rotor in place against my clit - during an orgasm or just because I'd get so wet it was hard to keep it in place. The tape certainly helped this small problem. When his break ended (add a small pout here), he said he wanted me to call and leave him messages, and cum at least two more times for him.

And holy crap did I! I actually came three times, I don't even remember how many before that, but what really sticks in my mind is the fact that I came hard twice in quick succession, and not too long after having cum before that. It was an odd rush, and while it felt great there was a little bit of fear and panic mixed in. I wasn't entirely sure what was going on, addle-minded as I was when it happened. It left me feeling good, the negative emotions didn't last long at all, but I conked out right then and there - leaving my Master worried because I wasn't responding to any of his texts.

So no tape on the rotor until he's actually around, just to be safe. Because while mega orgasm was mega awesome, it was also a bit unnerving to have happen when it was just me in my room. Still though, I had no idea I could do something like that, or that things like that even happened xD So the learning experience was nice, and hey - if I can shotgun orgasm I'm sure I can do other things <3

-:- The Drive -:- (Chap. 2)

Prologue  Chapter 1 >Chapter 2<

The car pulled into the driveway, it was silent in the neighborhood, veiled by the sweet blanket of nighttime. The silence was shattered when he opened the rear car door. Panting, moaning softly, he helped his tormented pet out, untying the binds at her knees so she could walk on her own.

He led her by a leash up to their front door, the rotors still whirring against her clit and nipples. Her wetness slipped down her thighs as she walked, her shivering body moaning and whimpering. He pointed to a spot on the mat in front of the door.

“On your knees, back to the door, pet.”

“Yes Master.” She purred as she obeyed his command as quickly as she could with her arms still bound. She opened her mouth as he approached her, licking his stiff cock through his pants.

“Such an eager little pet.” He praised her and she tugged on his pants in response, letting her actions beg for her.

He freed his stiff member for her and ran his fingers through her hair as she sucked and licked and moaned with him stuffed in her mouth. One hand tightened in her hair as the other dealt with his keys. He held her head in place as he fucked her face, pinning her against the door. Listening to her as she gagged and sputtered with his thick cock shoved down her throat.

The sounds she made as he fucked her throat seemed to ring through the still night air with more volume than she would've liked. He turned the key in the door and let it swing open, pulling his cock from her mouth and letting her fall back into the house. She wriggled back, pushing off the door frame with her legs to shove herself into the house a bit further.

He followed her in, placing his legs between hers, keeping hers from closing. He knelt down between her thighs and grabbed her legs, pulling her to him as he leaned down and sucked on her clit hard. Her toes curled as the sweet sound of her pleasure tore through the silence. His finger plunged into her sopping wet pussy, driving her sounds louder for a moment. He pulled his finger out and stopped sucking her clit when she was barely a breath away from cumming.

“OhgodMasterpleasedon'tstopnow!” She begged quickly, her words melting into each other. Her hips moved as she spoke, her legs shaking even as he let them go and she worked to keep them spread. “Please fuck me hard! Fill my naughty pussy with your cum, pretty please Master <3”

He grinned, a smile that would have normally unnerved her if she hadn't been so far gone in her own desires.

“But pet, the door is still open.” He placed the head of his cock against her pussy lips as he spoke. “The whole neighborhood will hear you, see you, they'll know what a dirty whore you really are...”

“I... I don't care Master! Please please I'm so close I want to cum again! I want to cum against your cock, please Master, please fuck me hard!”

He held her legs open by her ankles, and shoved his cock deep into her hungry wet pussy letting her warm greedy flesh take him all at once. Her cry was divine.

He leaned down and kissed her, forcing her legs wider and pushing himself deeper into her as he devoured her sweet sounds. Her body writhed and trembled under him and he into her mercilessly, not even slowing as she came against him, slipping one tight orgasm into another.

When he felt himself getting close he pulled out of her gaping cunt and turned his deliriously happy pet onto her stomach. Pulling her ass up into the air he toyed with the plug inside her for a moment before smacking her ass sharply. He did so several more times until her skin was pink and she was grunting against the pain. He knew now that he had her attention again.

He slowly pulled the lube-soaked plug out of her, listening to her gasp and squirm from the sensation of it.

“With you like this, my sweet pet,” he began to explain as his stiff cock pressed against her open asshole. “Not only will they hear your sweet sounds, but they'll get a much better view of your sweet cock-hungry pussy as you cum for me again.”

Pleasure tore through her once again as he pushed himself slowly into her, and her flesh stretched to accommodate his thick cock. She was practically drooling on the floor when he reminded that she still needed to ask permission before cumming again. She'd been a good girl the entire night, it would be a shame to have it end in a punishment.

“Th-Thank you Master,” she purred as his cock sunk into her completely. “Thank you for fucking all of my greedy holes tonight.”

“Mmmm, you're quite welcome pet, you've earned it.”

He wasn't too gentle as he began to fuck her ass in earnest. She'd had the plug in for quite some time, and there was plenty of lube inside her. She moaned and gasped, her sound filling his ears and the area around them. Her writhing was delightful, her begging was enjoyable, but the noises she made in uncontrolled pleasure was what he'd come to enjoy the most. Often times he'd gag her more to maintain his own control than to control her.

He felt his own orgasm drawing near, and he could hear the change in pitch of her moans. His pet would be begging soon, letting those luscious moans turn to sexy words.

“Master please let me cum, please I'm close and even.. even though I've cum so much already please let me scream for you one more time. Let... let everyone hear and see what a good little slut I am for my Master!”

He put his feet against the door frame, learning over and pushing his weight into her shoulders using the leverage to fuck her harder.

“Cum then, pet.” He commanded, breathlessly close to cumming himself. “Scream shamelessly for your Master, and hurry – cum before I do, or don't cum at all.”

Her cries of pleasure were somewhat muted as his hard thrusts knocked the wind out of her. He could feel her body tense and jerk underneath him, even pinned as she was.

He slammed himself into her hard over and over even as she spasmed and came around his cock even as he filled her ass with his own pleasure.

He took a moment to catch his breath, kissing her shoulders before sitting up and closing the door. Tired as he was there was more to do. He had his pet to take care of, and she lay before him shaking in after glow working to catch her breath, covered and filled with cum on the cool wet floor.

He untied her the rest of the way, moving her sore and stiff joints slowly. He tossed the ropes aside and lifted her in his arms. She sighed contently and nuzzled against him, for once too tired and lost in her own pleasure to yelp from being picked up. He walked to the bedroom, smiling at her cat like behavior as she rested in his arms.

Setting her on the bed he started a bath for her. He would spend the next half hour or so taking care of her. Letting her relax in the warm water, bathing her and rubbing the aches and rope burns out of her skin.

Afterward he would tend to himself, once she was warm and clean and slipping into sleep.

Monday

Monday started off nice and easy, but then Master decided to queue up a video of a Japanese woman who was tied up in various outfits and fucked by strangers on a bus.

Needless to say it had the desired effect on me that I'm sure he was going for.

I don't remember much before he used the leather hogtie to secure me to a chair, but I'm sure Master's deft fingers teased the hell out of me. Just locking me into place on the chair had a serious effect. I could feel my entire body wake up - every little touch, breeze, thought, it was all on edge.

And then came the wand. Its haitus broken from Friday night. My welcome and now my farewell, Master drove me to the edge, blurring my mind, making my body yearn for the unavoidable orgasm that powerful vibrator commanded. When he stopped I nearly cried. I'm pretty sure I whimpered. I look forward to the day when I get to cum to that powerful vibrator, begging for it to stop as opposed to begging for release.

The video still played as he attended me, it was 3 hours long and I think I spent 2 secured to the chair.  Squirming, wet, distracted by the scene playing out before me, distracted from that by Master's attention. Struggling to watch the video and not lose myself so much to the sensation that I couldn't obey.

He painted dirty words on my flesh with chocolate, rewarded me with his cock down my throat, made me twitch and jump and shiver with suppressed nervous laughter as he dripped wax on my exposed body. The ache in my limbs was delicious, enough to remind me I was held fast, and light enough to not really hurt at all. The feel of the flog and wax distracted me, the building orgasms flooded over it. Cold water from icecubes sent my world in a different direction, everything came together to make the eventual orgasm(s) melt in such a way I'm not sure when the sensations ended and the orgasms began. But Master's words, his command, my body reacts to happily, and I want it no other way.

It's hard to describe a wonderful experience to someone who has never felt it. How do you relate the colors of the rainbow to a blind person? How do you describe the elation and trust and euphoria to someone jaded? I spent my entire life clumsy, feeling awkward and ugly as though everything I touched turned to filth and crumbled.

This lifestyle, that man, my world now is whole and beautiful and at peace. I don't remember when but I know at one point during my stay I just started crying. I wasn't sad, I was happy and a little afraid. I was so relieved to feel so wonderful that I didn't know how to handle it. I'd never been so at peace before, so happy, and my tears were relief - relief and fear that I would do something to destroy it all. That some flaw would bubble to the surface that wouldn't be forgiven.

And even if something like that does happen it's going to be okay. These moments, that weekend, if that's all I'm allowed to have I can accept that. To know what was missing in my life all these years, even if its fleeting, is incredible.  I have faith though - this isn't fleeting, it isn't something that was only going to happen once - this is my life now and I embrace it with all the joy and happiness I have <3

Sunday

I'm quite proud of myself with how Sunday started out. Master and I have spoken a lot about what we enjoy, visually, physically, etc (communication is key, after all), and so when I put together a "surprise" outfit for him I was pretty sure it was going to have the desired effects.

What do you know, it did. <3

It was a short christmas-y kind of dress that buttons all the way down the front, white thigh highs and heels I had to buy on my way to the airport because I couldn't find any >.> I didn't even have to ask and Master kept his eyes closed until I was standing in front of him, his reaction was worth every penny =D

After his initial reaction wore off the rope came out. He took his time tying me up and I reveled in every minute of it. Securing my arms behind my back he had me lay down on the couch and with quite a bit of length from my wrists to my ankles he tied both points up. The rope was snug the resistance was wonderful <3 I was wet and squirmy before anything else happened. I'd wanted to be tied up for Years, and this was a nice introduction to being restrained with -just- rope. The feel of it against my skin is so nice I'm almost tempted to go out and buy some and start practicing tying myself into a simple rope dress.

Out came a camera and the egg - I swear Master never misses a chance to drive me bonkers with that damned thing. (Heck, the egg might've come into play before the rope, things get kinda blurry once Master's in charge ^^; ). If the camera wasn't embarrassing enough he also started using a video camera, which had an effect I wasn't entirely expecting - it made me even hornier than I already was. At this point the sensations and actions all kind of glopped together, and forget trying to watch the video to jog my memory, Master played back some (or all) of what he recorded after the fact and I couldn't bring myself to watch it then.

I doubt I'd have much better luck now ^^;

The session was, I think, the shortest one we'd had up to that point (and possibly the entire weekend), but it was pretty intense. At least on my end, with the cameras and rope and such. I can close my eyes and see bits and pieces as short clips and pictures in my mind, I can hear his voice slipping in and out of the mewling moans and gasps he demands from my body. It's exhausting and I cling to him after each session like a tired swimmer, finding reprieve after treading water for hours.

And for the first time in my life, I feel whole. Completed not just by the man I trust and love, but by the moments and desires we share. There's no sense of wrong, or unnatural - rather it's a feeling that things are as they are. Right and proper and working as intended.

Saturday

Friday, in all its glory, was exhausting, and despite that I think I only slept like 3 or 4 hours. I'm not much for sleeping at night so it wasn't too surprising. I was simply too wide awake to go back to sleep. Saturday morning started out kinda lazy for me, but once Master woke up things started to move a bit more. We had a light breakfast, and then I got pampered in the shower again <3 (I tell you, I could get used to that >.> )

However, the shower didn't end in a relaxing way, it was time to use the shower enema kit Master'd bought (and installed). My feelings on that thing were, and still kinda are, mixed. It works great for cleaning things out, and after the first time it wasn't really uncomfortable. Just... a LOT of water. The most embarrassing part was bending over in the shower, though when Master busted out the lube and started teasing me with his fingers, I wasn't really focusing on much else.

Two times of being filled with water worked well, and it wasn't too surprising, I hadn't really eaten much either over the last 24 hours or so anyway. Once everything was clean it was onto the warm soft bed, rear still in the air. Master'd bought three sizes of plugs, the things looked like they'd come in a set - the design was similar they just got bigger and bigger. He started off (obviously) with the smallest.

Smallest my. ass. That thing felt huge! And it wasn't nearly as thick as Master is, so I wasn't too surprised when my ass didn't exactly welcome his cock some time later. I don't know if more lube was needed, or if I was too nervous, or if it was a mix of things. Becoming embarrassed about something is a kind of double-edged sword with me - everything is tingly and on edge, but at the same time it's really REALLY hard to relax. I am though of the school of thought that there's no such thing as too much lube.

Ever.

Fortunately I have a very patient and caring Master and when things weren't exactly going smoothly we moved onto other things, and my tensed rear end was given a reprieve. I'm not convinced I'm ever going to be able to take the biggest of those plugs, but Master seems to have faith we'll be able to work up to it ^_^ Barring that, I'm just looking forward to the day he can fill my ass without too much fuss before hand <3

Later that day was nice too, in-between the longer sessions we had begun a pattern of messing around. Cuddling and snuggling would randomly just turn into Master stripping me down and taking me in any various different ways. At one point he decided to play around with the rope he had and test out a simple rope dress. We learned two things from that - we were gonna need longer rope, and I have a rather pleasant reaction to rope against my skin. I'm not sure I could make it through an entire day wearing one of those >.> I am sure though, that at some point I'll find out one way or another ^_^;

And still, even though I had a hard time relaxing the only thing I can complain about are the nipple clamps from the day before =D Saturday was a nice day, we did run an errand or two and I think we went out to eat for at least one meal, so not the whole day was spent inside (or hey, more might've happened). Sunday was a different matter altogether though, and for lack of better way of putting it, I pretty much got what I'd "asked" for that day. <3

Friday

Getting off the plane was easy. My nerves were on edge, but the desire to be lost in the arms of my love was stronger than the fear of what may or may not happen between us. My flight had gotten in early, which didn't help the building nerves in the slightest, since now I had to sit, and wait.

And think while waiting.

The actual meeting was nice. We hugged, he bought me something to snack on since I was pretty hungry, and we headed into the parking deck. I knew a bit of what was to be expected ahead of time, but I think my mind tossed most of it out the window by the time we got to his car. I'm pretty sure there was small talk, but I stayed mostly focused on the tasty treat I was nomming away on.

Sitting in the car, a gift was given - a wireless vibrating egg and remote. One that required assembly so far as the batteries needing to be put in it. I was told after putting the batteries in that I would be putting the egg in. I struggled a bit to get it in without taking anything off, but that didn't last long.

"Might as well take the pants off, you don't get to keep them on anyway." Came the statement. A slight whimper was the reply, and the jeans came off. Admittedly, the egg goes in easier without the pants in the way. It was thicker than the rotor I had back home and was making itself well known without even being turned on. The word to remove my panties followed, and I got a towel in exchange.

Silly me, I put the towel -over- my lap, when I learned it was meant to go under me. Once I was settled in, as well as I could possible settle with only a shirt and sneakers on, the little egg whirred into life. Even in the pitch black of the night I was pretty convinced that everyone could see the red on my face, that there was no way I was keeping the calm exterior I was fighting to keep.

After a few moments I'm not even sure I was trying to keep a calm exterior. The egg had multiple settings, and Master seemed to just Love going through them. I tried to focus on anything but the whirring inside me, buildings, signs, other cars, small talk - anything. The entire ride I was afraid that he was going to randomly stop at some store and expect me to get out of the car the way I was. I wasn't even sure I'd be able to convince my legs to move let alone actually convincing the rest of me that I would be willing to go into said store.

Fortunately, we didn't stop anywhere between the airport as his place. Unfortunately, I did have to walk from the car up three flights up steps to his front door. It... wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Even though I was very wet the egg didn't just randomly fall out as I walked. He had me wait outside the door for a moment, and when the outside light shut off I had a pretty decent idea of what he meant to do.

He gave me something to lean against - him - and he pulled my shirt up over my head, and unsnapped my bra. I thought my whole body had exploded in little tingly sensations, and my mind started reeling with possible things he could have me do from that point. I don't even think I fully registered my admittance into the apartment until the door closed behind us. I took off my socks and shoes and found myself naked walking into a room with two tables. There was more in the room, granted, but at that point I wasn't really focusing on much except a squat table and it's longer brother.

The big table was covered with toys, and I knew that the smaller one was about to be covered in at least one toy. Every light touch Master gave me slipped through my entire body, the egg was still going but there was so much else it was hard to even register it. He slipped a very comfortable blindfold over my eyes and all I had left to focus on were the sensations.

Once Master put the cuffs on my wrists and ankles my world started to blur. The snug feel of the cuffs was amazing, the cool table at my back as long lengths of rope tying my shivering wet body against it, all of it crashed into my mind like a bowling ball. I was helpless, though not completely. My mind understood there were a couple ways I could end the session, and that that was my right - not something to be ashamed of. Even so I was lost in it all.

One flog was snappy and whip-like. The stretchy little bastard stung sharply, but the after effect left my skin tingly. The longer heavier one that followed it was different. The sting wasn't sharp, but the feel of it wasn't ignorable either, following behind it's little brother it took advantage of the shivering flesh. Between the egg inside, the resistance of the ropes, the embarassment of being open wide to someone else's eyes, all those added to the feel of the heavier flog as it came down on my pussy.

I think I could've cum to that.

I know at some point the mask came off. I know at some point I came, was kissed, caressed. Master help my head for me when my neck began to ache, his hands were warm and gentle and the kindnesses that he showed me while he played with me went above anything anyone had ever shown me before.

There was a wand at some point, a pointy wheel at another, and at some point I'm pretty sure I was trying to figure out how I could fit this squat little table into my own luggage. I have no idea how long the session lasted, I can't remember everything that happened, but aside from the nipple clamps I thoroughly enjoyed everything else. The feel of everything - physically, emotionally - it was all I could have ever hoped for.

And afterward, being wrapped up in Master's arms, sipping water, snuggling against his skin, shivering and wet and messy. Soft kisses on my forehead, deft fingers slipping through my hair, I hadn't even experienced something so gentle in any vanilla relationship.

I had known before then how deeply I'd felt about him. No one could have convinced me otherwise, and after the first night at his mercy, lost in his dominance, wrapped in his tender care, I knew. I love him, I trust him, and I know that in all things - in everything that I am, that I tried to hide, that no one else had ever accepted before - that he's there. I don't have to worry about what I say, or how I act, I don't have to be concerned that something will be too far out there, or too different. I can be me. 100% me.

There's no reason for anything to be hidden - I've already been laid bare. <3

Perhaps...

I don't think it's really hit me where I'll be, and what I'll be doing before the day's out. There's just an airplane ride between he and I and right now it still feels so long away, and soon it won't be. Things we've talked about, things planned, desired, wanted, needed, pretty soon they'll be right there in front of me.

He'll be right there in front of me.

If I could find the right words to describe everything that's going on inside my heart right now I'd be a multi-millionaire for my exceptional use of the English language.

I am, however, decidedly poor-er than that. As much as I love writing, as much as I enjoy word play, I just don't think I could find the words to properly describe it. I'm nervous, excited, happy, worried, scared, elated, jittery, calm. All rolled into one, all wondering what the day will bring. But regardless of what happens I won't have any regrets. That much I know to be true.

I just hope I don't cry ^^; I hate crying in front of people, which is a bad thing for me, as emotional and swept away as I tend to get >.> But, even if I do, I doubt it will matter.  There's trust there, and love, and past those two things I need nothing else.

On the bright side I'll have plenty to post about when I get back! XD

List 3 of Many

Phobias - Things I don't even remotely want to try.


1. Needles. No way no how no kind. I don't care if I get roped into a medical scene, keep these things the hell away from me. I've had a fear of needles since I was a kid - and I don't mean "Oh I hate getting shots." No, I mean 3 orderlies have to hold me down for them to remove blood from my body for life saving tests. This is not happy fun times >.<

2. Blood. Of any kind. It doesn't really belong mixed in with anything in my opinion. Fake movie blood, no problem. Wounds, cuts, sore, stitches... probably best to keep out of the mix.

3. Spiders. Hell, we could safely just say bugs here and be good. Spiders however, are at the top of the list. I don't like bugs, I like spiders even less. And I don't even know why - Spiders eat the other bugs, I should love spiders. But alas, I do not. And those people that lay in a coffin full of worms for money - those fuckers are insane.

4. Speaking of coffins - Severely enclosed spaces. A cage with bars - fine. A box with a tiny hole - not fine.

5. Clowns. What can I say? It popped into my mind, so I'm including it. There's a lot of sexy cosplay options out there, and certain variation of clown-likeness is acceptable (like a harlequin for instance), but the good old fashioned Barnum and bailey? Nope. Either it's going to be too creepy, or I'm simply not going to be able to take anything seriously.

6. Medical settings - I don't mind playing nurse, but those sterile bright white environments with the tools laid out and the crinkly sheets... yeah, no. I've spent enough time in hospitals in my lifetime already, and there's nothing even remotely interesting and/or sexy about them.


And hm, for now that's it. If something else comes to mind I'll come back here and add it in =3

Anticipation

So I'd really meant to wait a bit longer before posting this, but I don't see any reason to hold off. Especially given how badly I want to cum right now and how the next 48 hours are going to be INSANE.

Or at least feel that way. My body's ramped up because of Master's orders, my mind's ramped up because it's going to be about this time on Friday that I'll be in Master's arms. I'm nervous, and excited, and really looking forward to it, and really kinda scared at the same time. If I wasn't for the love and the trust I'm not sure I'd be able to overcome the other factors and actually get on the plane >.>

Masturbate 5 times a day, but don't cum. Gah! -pulls hair out-. No, that's the wrong reaction, I've gone through this before, I know what the outcome's going to be. The only thing is that I'm already so on edge. My body's shivering and I'm gasping at the slightest of sensations already. I've got two nights of work to go, and hours on an airplane. The nervous energy is just going haywire at this point. I'm bitten my nails into oblivion, I've packed and unpacked my carryon I don't know HOW many times at this point. I just know I'm going to forget something important.

And maybe I sound like I'm complaining, but I'm not - not really. I know there's a reward at the end of this, and I keep trying to focus on that. Unfortunately my mind is so much in the gutter from all this that I keep having these very vivid fantasies when I'm teasing myself. Fantasies that are just begging me to cum screaming to them. And I want to. So very badly, and yet I won't. I can't. I don't want to. I want to be able to make it until Friday, or Saturday if that's what it takes.

I don't know what all he has planned, I don't know to what extent I'll be experiencing everything, and it doesn't matter. I'm sure my imagination has things working out worse (better?) than what they will be, and that somehow that's exactly what he means to do. I'm going to be exhausted before I even get there, I just know it >.< But at the same time I'm sure it'll all work out in the end.

Now just to kick this congestion....

Emotional - Trust

I've tried to write a post on Trust, I don't know how many times now. Every time I get most of the way through it I realize I'm not coming across exactly how I mean. Then again, maybe that's how it works. Trust isn't something that works the same for everyone. For some it's tied into Love, for others it's a separate feeling. I can care for and love people that I don't exactly trust, but the people that I trust, I love.

I might go out of my way to help a friend by giving them a ride somewhere, but with a few rare exceptions, I wouldn't just give my car to someone on loan. For every situation there is a different way that I react given what level someone is on with me. I'm pretty sure this is the way it is for a lot of people.

I tried visualizing it. If Trust was something I could hold in my hand, what would it look like? That's... actually pretty easy for me, but then again I sat down and thought about it for a long time. Trust looks like a glass ball to me, and only the first inch or so is solid. Inside the ball is a network of finely spun and woven glass. It's protected by the thick outer layer, and also helps to reinforce it. As time goes on more glass flows through the interior, until eventually the ball is solid, and practically unbreakable.

But it's still made out of glass. It can chip, and crack, and given the right set of circumstances even break. Shattered into a million pieces its still possible to fix, but it will never be the same flawless elegant bauble that it was before. I'm a forgiving person, there's many people that I can be trusting of that I've actually gotten scolded for even being polite to.

Despite all this, the biggest issue I ran into with trying to post this was deciding which was more important when it came to a D/s relationship. Trust, or Love. In a slightly circular logic it's easiest to say that it depends on the person. Sometimes these things are interwoven, sometimes they're given different levels of importance.

I think, however, that as far as D/s relationships are concerned Trust is most important. Love, as wonderful powerful and awesome as it is, isn't what's needed in those situations. Those that we love are in a position to hurt us the most. From the greatest joy of love can come the worst sorrows we ever feel in our lives. The risk is worth it, don't misunderstand me. But love is blind and emotional and out of control, while trust is perfect in its vision, often ruled by knowledge and cold logic, and tempered by restraint.

I would much rather someone I trust be in control of my fate if I am bound and unable to do much about it, than love. But perhaps I am a bit jaded, and have been hurt and am a bit distrustful of Love. Mm, no.

I love my Master. I trust my Master. If not for these things, I wouldn't call him my Master ^_^

-:- The Drive -:- (Chap.1)

Prologue  >Chapter 1<  Chapter 2

Panting into the seat, her head swimming already as street lights slipped over her body. He fiddled with the remotes to the rotors like he wasn't sure which went to what area. It was so random, speed, intensity, duration, she had no clue when one area would start and another stop. The only constant was the buzzing buried inside her soaking wet pussy, and if not for the ropes she wasn't sure it would've actually stayed in at this point.

The feel of the ropes as she squirmed struggling against them was nice, her Master had become rather adept at tying her up over time. The rotor against her clit whirred to life, pulling her thoughts sharply into focus.

“Ah <3 M-master please, please...” She breathed into the seat, trying to speak loudly enough to be heard.

“Please what, my pet?”

“Please let me cum, Master. P-please fill my wet... shivering pussy with your cock!”

“We're no where near a safe place for me to fuck you, pet,” he explained, and her whimper was the only reply. “If you ask nicely enough, however, I might turn up the rotors and let you cum now.”

Her mind reeled for a moment, trying to think desperately about what she could possibly say to get permission. The feeling was welling up inside, swirling around in her loins threatening to just overtake her. She had plenty of practice ignoring it, and her body wanted to wait until it was okay as much as her mind did. But this situation, the fear and the thrill was working against her.

“Mmmurrr... Please let me cum Master, please let your horny, wet, needy, greedy pet scream out her pleasure for you <3! Please Master, my pussy is so wet and my body's on edge so sharply I need release, please give me permission Master <3 Please it always... feels so much better... when you tell me to cum.”

They came to a red light, she heard the sound of the back window coming down a bit, letting her hear the sound of the car idling next to theirs. He looked into her eyes from the rear view mirror and grinned as all the rotors whirred to life against her skin.

Her face turned even more red than it had been, and as he ordered her to cum for him she couldn't resist. Even on a cool night like tonight, meaning the car next to them probably had their windows down, it didn't matter. The floodgates were opened by that single command, her panting turned into moaning and the moaning turned into something louder.

Her whole body tensed as the sounds of her pleasure flooded the car and gushed out the windows. Somewhere in the sounds of her orgasm were her thanks to him for letting her cum. As she came down from the high the rotors fell silent, save for the one buried inside her now dripping cunt. Sweating and panting she gasped for breath and jumped a bit at the soft sensation inside her. The window rolled back up and the car started rolling forward.

“Good girl.”

“Th-thank you, Master <3”

The shiver in her body never dissipated completely. The whirring between her thighs seemed to keep it rolling, almost to the point where she wished she could've lasted a little bit longer. It felt good, but it was keeping her on edge, and she was afraid a growing need to cum again was going to come too soon.

The car turned and she felt it gain speed, they were on the expressway now, and at holy crap in the morning there wasn't a whole lot of people out and about. Once they got up to speed he set the cruise and started playing with the rotors again. She gasped and murred and squirmed and shivered against the pleasure. He chatted idly with her, gauging her state of mind while he screwed with it.

She began to beg for his cock, in her mouth, her pussy, her ass, she didn't care. She wanted more than just the feel of the rotors randomly lighting her senses on fire and playing havoc with her body. He found a nice place to pull over and he stepped around the car, opening the back door. Her pulled her back, her short legs not quite reaching the ground, and lifted her up, putting a small rolled up sleeping bag under her hips.

Pulling the rope off to one side, he pulled the rotor out of her pussy, watching as her wetness dripped off it and onto her ass.

“You weren't kidding pet, you're very wet. Such a horny little whore.”

“Yes Master, and all yours Master, please <3 Please fill my soaking pussy with your cock!”

She felt the tip of his cock press against the slit of her cunt. He moved it up and down a couple times, enjoying just how soaking wet she was.

“I think you can do better than that, pet.”

“I... I can't think! I can still feel that thing vibrating inside me, my head's all scrambled,” she explained, panting and squirming. She started to say more and he shoved his cock inside her roughly, hilting and burying himself in her in one movement. Her body tightened and she screamed in surprise and pleasure, her body moving right up to the edge, nearly cumming from the feel of him filling her up.

“Did my naughty little girl cum?” He inquired calmly. How he could keep such a level head was amazing to her, and more so when she couldn't hardly think herself.

She shook her head. “No Master, I.. came close, but I didn't cum.”

“Seems even my greedy little whore has some control,” he purred. One hand on the door frame of the car, the other held onto her ass, his thumb idly pushing on the plug in her ass. He took his time at first, pulling back slowly and then shoving himself deep roughly.

When she started begging to be allowed to cum his answer was a sharp no, and a series of swats on her ass as he began to fuck her hard. Just as she thought she wasn't going to be able to obey he pulled out and came on her ass. Her toes curled as his cum slipped down to the small of her back, and oozed down the curve of her ass and onto her thighs. He pushed her back into the car, leaving her ass hiked up by the sleeping bag, before closing the door and getting back in himself.

The wired rotor stayed on the floor of the car, but once he got back up to speed the other rotors began their torment of her flesh. Randomly off and on, variant in their speed and duration. No matter how she begged he wouldn't let her cum, when she swore she wouldn't be able to hold back he simply turned them off for a mile or two before switching them all back on.

She hadn't a clue how long this went on for. Her mind was so garbled she wasn't even sure she'd be able to stand on her own at this point. She vaguely registered that they'd stopped again. He opened the back door on the driver's side, and when she looked up all she could see was her Master's rock hard cock.

Her mouth opened and she stretched toward him, licking the tip and begging for more of it. The rotor against her clit whirred into life more strongly than before, his hand weaving into her the other grabbing onto the rope harness. He pulled her closer and held her head for the first few minutes as she hungrily licked and sucked his cock. She moaned and gave thanks, sucking as sloppily and as noisily as she could.

She begged to be allowed to cum, begged to be able to swallow his. He said nothing as she worked on his cock, taking him in completely, her tongue stretching out to lick his balls before the need to breathe pulled her back up. After a few moments he pulled her off his cock, holding her head up by her hair with one hand, stroking his cock with the other.

“Close your eyes, open your mouth, and cum for me, my pet.” He grunted, fighting to keep his voice steady.

Her body writhed as she struggled to obey him. She struggled to keep her mouth open as he covered her face in cum almost exactly when the orgasm swept over her. His fingers clenched her hair tightly as he came, covering her face and hair with his pleasure.

He knelt down and wiped cum from her lips, sticking his thumb in her mouth and letting her lick it clean. Tilting her head up slightly he kissed her deeply, feeling her exhausted shivering body fight to return the act. One by one the rotors shut off, and he made sure she was comfortable before getting back into the car.

Her murmured thanks, almost as sweet as the sounds she made when she came for him, swirled inside the car for a moment before she slipped into a nap. He let her rest, when they got back home she'd need the energy.

-:- The Drive -:-

>Prologue<  Chapter 1 

She stood before him, her arms folded behind her back, her naked body blushing under his scrutiny. He stepped around her, never touching her, not saying anything for long moments. The most noise he made was a clearing of his throat, a sign for her to move enough to give him a better view of whatever he was peering at at that moment. She could feel her body shiver as he inspected her, the cool wetness forming between her thighs.

When he finally did touch her, it was with rope. He seemed to take great care to avoid skin to skin contact, letting the rope set her nerves on fire more than his fingers. Looping, knotting, he bound her arms into the position she'd been holding them in. Soft gasps and moans escaped her lips as he worked the ropes over her body. Finally he bound her knees together, and then stood before her.

His hand slipped behind her head, grabbing her hair at the base of her neck, pulling her head back and kissing her deeply. Her soft happy sigh turned into a squeal as his fingers pinched her nipple roughly. She jumped a bit and squirmed, but bound as she was her movement was impeded. He bent her over after he broke off the kiss, not giving her time to say or do anything as his finger slipped into her wet pussy.

“Already enjoying yourself, pet?” He questioned after her initial gasp of pleasure died down.

“Yes Master, I am,” she answered, her face red and her body shivering. She whimpered softly when he removed his finger. She was relieved, and concerned, as she felt the familiar cool smooth rotor push into her pussy before he had he straighten.

He turned her around and she noticed the bag, rotors brought to the top, wireless controllers on the floor beside him.

“Master, what are-”

“Hush pet.” He stated with finality, taping another rotor over her clit. She clamped her mouth shut, turning red as he stood up and taped them to her nipples. He pressed his body against hers, reaching behind her and working a lubed plug into her ass. Slowly. Panting and gasping she tried to keep as still as possible as his warm breath washed over her neck and shoulder while the intrusion pushed in deeper. If her arms hadn't been bound she would've held onto him for support as the slow stretch made her knees quiver.

“There, all dressed. Now to give you somewhere to go, pet,” he purred. He kissed her deeply before picking her up and putting her over his shoulder. She squeaked, no matter how often he moved her around like this she couldn't suppress the sound. He idly pushed the rotor back into her pussy as he walked, knowing from experience that it wasn't going to stay in on its own. She purred happily as his fingers slipped into her behind the rotor, pushing it in deeper.

He stepped into the garage and opened the back door of the car, laying her down on the cool leather interior face down. She adjusted herself a bit, getting comfortable, and letting out a cry as he smacked her ass sharply a couple times before turning on the wired rotor that was buried inside her wet pussy.

Her fingers flexed and she started panting into the seat. He swatted her sharply once more, mostly to get her attention.

“No cumming, pet, not until I give you permission.”

“Yes Master,” came the airy reply, her red face and hooded eyes looking toward him for a moment.

He closed the door and moved around to the front, setting the remotes to the wireless rotors down next to him. He stated which was which as he turned each on, pulling a gasp from his horny pet before turning them back off. He adjusted the review mirror so he could see her with a glance.

“You remember the terms, pet?”

She nodded. “I can call it off if I want. You... you won't be disappointed if I do,” she stated, her voice struggling against the buzzing between her thighs. “And it doesn't matter if it's cause of a cramp or because I'm too uncomfortable.”

“Good girl.”

“Mmm, Master, please,” she panted. He turned to look at her, her eyes focusing on his blearily. “Please fuck me now, before we leave, let me cum <3”

“Already pet?” He grinned. “No, I don't think so. You're just going to have to wait.” He turned the key and brought the car to life before pulling out of the garage, down the drive, and onto the road. “Cum without permission pet, and when I do pull over to fuck you I'll take you out of the car first.”

List 2 of Many

Things I Think I'd Like

This is going to be a shorter list than the last one because past what my actual curiosities and interests entail I never really looked into things past that.

1. Enemas. It's hard to really describe this one. What it is that has a hold on me as far as this is concerned has always been really hard to pin down. It's horribly embarrassing for me to even talk about it, and even more so to try and go into any details. I'll be honest, I don't want to crap myself in front of someone, that's NOT the allure to me. It's more the things you can do after being effectively cleaned out – like being forced to hold it in, being punished if you can't, the pure humiliation/embarrassment of even voiding clean water in front of someone.

The upside to this though, is the fact that a clean ass is easily a repeatedly fucked ass, and that's a whole 'nother list of things I could get into =D

2. Fisting. There's a bit of fear involved in this concept. I realize that fists don't reach the size of say, a baby, but babies don't exactly come out easily, ya' know? Yeah the curiosity is there – I've read about people's experience with this, and it sounds like something that's up my alley, but there's a big part of my mind that doesn't believe entire Hands can or should fit in there.

3. Flogged/Whipped/Cropped/Hot Wax. I know what you're thinking, this stuff's kinda par for course when it comes to BDSM isn't it? I can think about this stuff for months or years, and I can try to do it myself, but I don't know. I'd assume there's not going to be an issue when it comes to this, I dream and fantasize about it, I can't wait to experience it. Though, I should admit I had someone try to take a flog to me, and well, I couldn't feel a thing. It was rather disappointing, and not because it was something I no longer wanted to do, so much as it was like having this awesome build up and just … nada.

4. Peeing, and I totally blame way too much time watching Hentais for this one. I don't want to pee ON people, I don't want anything to do with drinking (ewewewewew), etc. Just, the whole having someone watch you do something that's generally a very private thing. Women don't stand at urinals, no one ever sees us pee, so it's... yeah, something. On a related note I had someone ask if I was okay with them peeing on me a few years back. The answer to that question is pretty much the same now as it was then, “Ew, but I don't know...” Because it's humiliating and shameful, and that I can get behind. But at the same time it's like... bwha? Did he really just ask me that?

Well, I suppose it's better he asked as opposed to just you know, peeing on me...

5. Nose hooks. Honestly, my sinus' have been screwed over so often in my life that I don't want anything to do with something that's going to mess with them. But there's still curiosity there, albeit a kind of "This would probably be a punishment way more than a reward..."

6. Hm, I might come back and some other point and update this. Right now I can't think of anything that sits on that fine line of maybe that exists between “Yes Please!” and “Fuck no..”. Speaking of, when I get around to it, the “Fuck no..” is probably going to be my next list.