The Games We Play

So, being that I'm in a long distance relationship - though admittedly not for much longer (yay!), I find that there's two things (aside from daydreaming up bdsm fantasies) that I do a lot of.

Look at porn and play sex games.

Wetpussy is a good place to go. There's more than just bdsm themed games there, and the best part is they're free. Now you can wander around and find most of them have a pay version, or hell, some of them are trials that link directly to the pay versions.

So far there's only one I've paid for and quite frankly, it was worth every meager penny.

Kasumi: Rebirth is addictive. It's even More addictive when you remove the trial restrictions and can play the game full throttle. You don't have to worry about certain actions freezing it, etc etc. There's extra backgrounds, costumes, voice overs (with english and japanese, and even a natural bilingual option too O.o ). I can't remember where I got mine from - some indy games download place. If I can find it I'll update this post with the info.

Most of this is cause I don't have a nice cuddly and equally horny Master within arms' reach to do similar naughty and possibly just cuddly things with. I need some sort of outlet, and the games provide a nice one. Oddly though, for better or worse, both the games and the porn lately have lost their edge. Instead of getting lost in the story/setup/options I find that for the most part I'm just wanting to be around my lover more than before.

With my move on the horizon this isn't a bad thing, and probably a nice healthy turn for the best. I think it'll do a lot for my writing too, since most of the time I stop because I get heartsick. ^^;

Time vs. Inclination

I love to write, and I've got enough time to do at least a little bit of it every day. I go through these bouts though of not having the inclination. Now, sometimes there's just too much stuff on my mind, whether it be concerns about work, family, etc. Sometimes I just plain don't feel like writing (typing), and actually managing to do so becomes a huge pain in the ass.

The problem is I've got a LOT of writing I want to do. Completing my 3rd novel, working on starting a new series, short stories for her, etc etc. I don't know if I need to manage my time better, or if I need a stronger motivation. I've always been self-driven when it comes to writing, but this blog (one that has a posting schedule set by my Master) certainly sees a LOT more love than the one I have for my novels and the characters.

Does this mean I crave the kind of D/s relationship we have in the bedroom in other aspects as well? Would being told to write on certain days during certain times "or else" really be something that would spur on my abilities? Or would the natural ebb of how I write just end up causing writer's block in that time frame? Do I even have the right to expect my Master to take on such a responsibility for me, a full grown and fully capable adult?

I do know that my impending move has taken a lot of my mind-wandering Oh-I-should-write-that-down kind of creativeness away, but honestly moving from Ohio to Arizona is a big freakin' move. Being distracted by it is only natural.

Should a D/s relationship be totally inclusive though? Should I turn myself over to my Master that fully to begin with? I mean, nevermind I don't think he wants that kind of relationship anyway, but it makes my mind reel. I don't have a problem handing things over in the bedroom - so to speak - but when it comes to just about everything else, the road's equality, not subservience.

Either way, tomorrow I'm going to try to post about some of the fantasies I've been having lately. I don't know whether or not to blame Master or my own apparently repressed desires, but goodness more and more they've included complete strangers >.>

Well there goes that

I had this great train of thought for a halfway decent post about something that would have totally been interesting to someone I'm sure.

Instead I went to the movies with my mom and a couple of her friends (Safe House, I liked it, but mom thought it was too slow) and the side-show that came with the movie has since derailed my train of thought.

I'm an open minded person. I am. I don't even care about semi-inappropriate displays of affection. It's 2012, most people don't even pay attention to that crap anymore. Except.

My mom.

And it wouldn't have been so bad I don't think, if said couple had been - in some capacity at the least - an actual couple. Instead it was a 40+ year old man and a 18ish year old boy making all sorts of petting and coziness in the corner.

And this is just the information I managed to hear second hand that I didn't even WANT to hear. My mom's pretty open to about anything, so when something was causing her to spazz out I was more than happy to go on being blissfully ignorant about the entire situation.

But she wouldn't stop talking about it, and I ended up with Waaaaaaaay more information than I wanted. And now I can't really think about anything else with any kind of clarity to be able to write about it.

Honestly though, it felt good to get that off my chest. I'll keep physical descriptions of said oddball couple to myself - it just makes it worse.

7 of 7

In a little over an hour Master'll be here <3 So excited! I haven't even had that much sleep since I was working last night, but I can't wait. I'm looking forward to every precious moment we'll get to spend together.

Both doing things naughty and not ^_^

I don't know what he has planned, but if you don't hear from me in a week - don't worry - I'm in good hands <3

Upcoming

A few things I plan to work on relatively soon:


Rope's End - A short story that could become something more about a vanilla couple trying to hide their sex lives from a bdsm-centric society. (This one should be tricky, but I thought the switch in perspective would be fun to figure out).

S & M - A fantasy setting story between two elves, a practitioner of the holy arts and one of the dark. Their own oddities and shortcomings bring them together, their shared love of bdsm keeps it that way. Snow is an albino elf with a love of books and not much understanding past them, who stumbles upon a wizard in his well guarded tower only to fall into trap - and quickly learn that the concepts of right and wrong are far blurrier than she originally thought.

A Walk in the Park - a short story (like the Tape or the Drive), something Master wants me to work on soon. The title pretty much explains it, I think. I'd probably be writing that now instead of this little to do list reminder, but I've had wine. Wine doesn't equal creative writing so well for me.

Combinations - Things from practical to absurd you could mix in with bdsm with interesting (or disastrous) results. What can I say, my mind wanders to all sorts of things.

Cartoon Hijinks! - I've noticed - probably because I'm horribly twisted and sick in the head - that there's a lot of bdsm practices and themes in little kids cartoons. Either the creators are having a laugh at everyone's expense, or I've got some serious issues to sort out.

Jump Rope - A lighthearted look at a bdsm relationship. Much humor and some slightly farfetched stuff. Was originally going to do this as a comic, but 1 - I'm not big on drawing, and 2 - I think it'll work just as well as a series of snippets and short stories.

So that's what I have planned, not counting anything that comes up out of the blue. However, wine + 3am is seemingly equal to sleep, so that's where I'm going. ^_^

Piercings

I won't lie, I enjoy looking at porn. It helps my imagination when I want to think of a fantasy, it certainly doesn't hurt with getting in the mood for things, and pictorial or video doesn't matter either. What I've noticed lately is that there's a lot of artwork out there where the sub has nipple and clit piercings.

Now maybe I'm fixating on this fact or something, but it looks like every time I turn around I see it. I get the kind of symbolism behind it, don't get me wrong, but it aggravates me in a way. As if it's a requirement for a sub to have piercings to be a sub. I'm sure there's femdoms out there with the same piercings, and I'm doubly sure (since I am a sub) that there's subs out there without any piercings. I don't even have my ears pierced. It just bugs me, and when I did have my ears pierced as a kid I had all kinds of issues, infections, green ears, hard times getting earrings in, etc.

The more I see of it in drawings and videos the more I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Or not so much wrong as not completely right. It's like subliminal peer pressure, and the worst part is I've got such a horrible fear of needles that it's not something I can just go out and do or try.

All in all it's just aggravating, and it seems like I can't get away from it much anymore, which sucks because its a bit of a turn off for me. Live or animated or as a painting, I see those sensitive areas pierced and I just wince - whatever else is going on become irrelevant. v.v And really, it's no big deal, I know my Master isn't going to leave me just because I won't get piercings in odd places, I guess it's just the feeling of not being able to get away from the association that bugs me the most.

*wanders off into a corner and continues to grumble* <3

Four Letter Words

Quite a while back I sent a text to my Master and told him I missed him. I started musing on that word, and how words that are only four letters can hold so much meaning and have such a small impact on a piece of paper. Or even to be spoken. I'd actually wrote down a lot of what I had thought at that time, but since misplaced the notes. Which is fine, the idea is still in my head, and writing it down a second time won't hurt.

I realize, there's a LOT of four letter words (I've used quite a few already, if you haven't noticed). But there's ones that just have such an impact.
Love
hate
help
evil
miss
hope
fear
hurt
harm
gone
here
ever
give
take

There's just so much to them, and they're words that can have many meanings too. From negative to positive, you can't really put them in one category or another. 'Evil' can be just as playful as anything, 'fear' can be an emotion used to enhance others - pleasure and pain both. Hurt and harm are pretty straight forward, but there's many ways to effect someone with either of those. Skinning my elbows hurts, feeling sad hurts my heart, getting snapped with the flog hurts, but all three of those are completely different kinds of hurt. And while I tend to see hurt as something reversible and harm as something that's not, most people tend to use those words interchangably.

You can give love, take love, hurt love, harm love, twist, beat, maim, and even break it. Love compels you to defense, protection, gives you a sense of self-worth and fear. It is, I think,  the single most powerful emotion. Those we love, we trust. They have the greatest ability to bring us the greatest of elation and the worst of sorrows. Libraries have entire floors dedicated to that one single emotion. Books upon books, from religious texts to sappy children's poems, the power of love invades them all. Billions of words written on the matter, and it's such a small almost inconsequential word.

Hate, sadly, is likely second only to the idea of love. It comes in as many levels and strengths as love, but unlike love it usually destroys the person consumed by it. There's no much outside assistance needed when it comes to this particular word. It's a very exhausting emotion too, I've always joked that I don't have the energy to hate anyone, and in my life I've probably dealt with people that I have the right to feel that way towards.

But all that stems from the simple fact that my Master isn't here now, and that's what I want more than anything. As an adult I understand that I need to wait for certain things to happen before I can have what I want. As a woman in love I understand that I need to wait for certain things to happen before I can have what I need. As an increasingly saddened love struck fool I'm thinking I should get a second job to move things along a little faster XD

I'd worry

But let me be honest, I don't really care.

And about what? Well, my Master's voice has quite the profound effect on me. I can hear it while I'm alone masturbating, squirming and riding that edge just a little bit longer than I used to. I can feel the warmth of his breath on my neck, as though he's circling around me, enjoying the show, whispering the commands that are just so easy to follow. I miss actually hearing him, I miss actually feeling his touch or having his presence be something more than part of my very strong imagination.

Long distance does that, but far apart doesn't last forever.

What worries me, slightly, is that when I can't conjure the sound of his voice, when I can't close my eyes and get lose in some random fantasy in which he's a part of, I can't cum. Now, I have an excellent imagination, I do, this isn't something that happens often. It's not like I go days and days without release (unless of course I'm under orders not to cum to begin with), but it's more like I fall asleep because I'm exhausted from trying to cum, as opposed to being exhausted from cumming.

Before now it's always felt... well, less awesome, cumming in an empty room, as opposed to orgasming around him. The phone helps, just knowing he's there in a way is better than nothing. It does leave a girl wanting though, believe you me.

I'd say maybe I'm getting less horny in my uh, "old" age, but at the same time I'm not worried about that. The desire, drive, need, etc is all still there, but it's more like the trigger for the shot isn't in my hands anymore. I don't know if this is just something that happens between a Master and pet, or if it's because of certain aspects. Maybe I'm just that kind of sub, maybe he's just that kind of dom - I've got to admit I don't have enough knowledge regarding either role to know if this sort of thing is even normal. If it's a phase, permanent, if it'll get "worse" or "better", etc.

And really, I can't bring myself to complain. Pout, maybe, just a little, but not complain. <3

Perhaps...

I don't think it's really hit me where I'll be, and what I'll be doing before the day's out. There's just an airplane ride between he and I and right now it still feels so long away, and soon it won't be. Things we've talked about, things planned, desired, wanted, needed, pretty soon they'll be right there in front of me.

He'll be right there in front of me.

If I could find the right words to describe everything that's going on inside my heart right now I'd be a multi-millionaire for my exceptional use of the English language.

I am, however, decidedly poor-er than that. As much as I love writing, as much as I enjoy word play, I just don't think I could find the words to properly describe it. I'm nervous, excited, happy, worried, scared, elated, jittery, calm. All rolled into one, all wondering what the day will bring. But regardless of what happens I won't have any regrets. That much I know to be true.

I just hope I don't cry ^^; I hate crying in front of people, which is a bad thing for me, as emotional and swept away as I tend to get >.> But, even if I do, I doubt it will matter.  There's trust there, and love, and past those two things I need nothing else.

On the bright side I'll have plenty to post about when I get back! XD

Anticipation

So I'd really meant to wait a bit longer before posting this, but I don't see any reason to hold off. Especially given how badly I want to cum right now and how the next 48 hours are going to be INSANE.

Or at least feel that way. My body's ramped up because of Master's orders, my mind's ramped up because it's going to be about this time on Friday that I'll be in Master's arms. I'm nervous, and excited, and really looking forward to it, and really kinda scared at the same time. If I wasn't for the love and the trust I'm not sure I'd be able to overcome the other factors and actually get on the plane >.>

Masturbate 5 times a day, but don't cum. Gah! -pulls hair out-. No, that's the wrong reaction, I've gone through this before, I know what the outcome's going to be. The only thing is that I'm already so on edge. My body's shivering and I'm gasping at the slightest of sensations already. I've got two nights of work to go, and hours on an airplane. The nervous energy is just going haywire at this point. I'm bitten my nails into oblivion, I've packed and unpacked my carryon I don't know HOW many times at this point. I just know I'm going to forget something important.

And maybe I sound like I'm complaining, but I'm not - not really. I know there's a reward at the end of this, and I keep trying to focus on that. Unfortunately my mind is so much in the gutter from all this that I keep having these very vivid fantasies when I'm teasing myself. Fantasies that are just begging me to cum screaming to them. And I want to. So very badly, and yet I won't. I can't. I don't want to. I want to be able to make it until Friday, or Saturday if that's what it takes.

I don't know what all he has planned, I don't know to what extent I'll be experiencing everything, and it doesn't matter. I'm sure my imagination has things working out worse (better?) than what they will be, and that somehow that's exactly what he means to do. I'm going to be exhausted before I even get there, I just know it >.< But at the same time I'm sure it'll all work out in the end.

Now just to kick this congestion....

List 2 of Many

Things I Think I'd Like

This is going to be a shorter list than the last one because past what my actual curiosities and interests entail I never really looked into things past that.

1. Enemas. It's hard to really describe this one. What it is that has a hold on me as far as this is concerned has always been really hard to pin down. It's horribly embarrassing for me to even talk about it, and even more so to try and go into any details. I'll be honest, I don't want to crap myself in front of someone, that's NOT the allure to me. It's more the things you can do after being effectively cleaned out – like being forced to hold it in, being punished if you can't, the pure humiliation/embarrassment of even voiding clean water in front of someone.

The upside to this though, is the fact that a clean ass is easily a repeatedly fucked ass, and that's a whole 'nother list of things I could get into =D

2. Fisting. There's a bit of fear involved in this concept. I realize that fists don't reach the size of say, a baby, but babies don't exactly come out easily, ya' know? Yeah the curiosity is there – I've read about people's experience with this, and it sounds like something that's up my alley, but there's a big part of my mind that doesn't believe entire Hands can or should fit in there.

3. Flogged/Whipped/Cropped/Hot Wax. I know what you're thinking, this stuff's kinda par for course when it comes to BDSM isn't it? I can think about this stuff for months or years, and I can try to do it myself, but I don't know. I'd assume there's not going to be an issue when it comes to this, I dream and fantasize about it, I can't wait to experience it. Though, I should admit I had someone try to take a flog to me, and well, I couldn't feel a thing. It was rather disappointing, and not because it was something I no longer wanted to do, so much as it was like having this awesome build up and just … nada.

4. Peeing, and I totally blame way too much time watching Hentais for this one. I don't want to pee ON people, I don't want anything to do with drinking (ewewewewew), etc. Just, the whole having someone watch you do something that's generally a very private thing. Women don't stand at urinals, no one ever sees us pee, so it's... yeah, something. On a related note I had someone ask if I was okay with them peeing on me a few years back. The answer to that question is pretty much the same now as it was then, “Ew, but I don't know...” Because it's humiliating and shameful, and that I can get behind. But at the same time it's like... bwha? Did he really just ask me that?

Well, I suppose it's better he asked as opposed to just you know, peeing on me...

5. Nose hooks. Honestly, my sinus' have been screwed over so often in my life that I don't want anything to do with something that's going to mess with them. But there's still curiosity there, albeit a kind of "This would probably be a punishment way more than a reward..."

6. Hm, I might come back and some other point and update this. Right now I can't think of anything that sits on that fine line of maybe that exists between “Yes Please!” and “Fuck no..”. Speaking of, when I get around to it, the “Fuck no..” is probably going to be my next list.

Tangled (Ramblings)

I am not poly-amorous. Or, at the very least, I don't think I am. I can care about many people in a strong capacity, but there is always one that will be most important to me. I suppose, the best way to start this off, is that is simply just the way that I am.

My Master has consumed my thoughts from long before I even said anything to him. His voice, his opinions, his sense of humor, and even the way he interacted with other people. There was something about him that drew me to him. Taken as I was at the time, I did my best to ignore the feelings that were building inside me. I tried to tell myself that it was foolish to be enamored with someone else even if I wasn't completely happy where I was. The more I got to know him, however, the stronger the pull. I found myself looking forward to him signing on, I wanted to be a part of all the things he did - just to hear his voice for a moment longer.

One day, quite out of the blue, it struck me - I had fallen in love with him.

The details, I suppose, aren't terribly important. The feeling is, or rather, the feelings are what's important. The circumstances are irrelevant, the locations are pointless, the truth is simple - I want to be by his side. Whether it be in a homeless shelter, or a mansion. Whether it's as his equal or his possession; alone or part of a harem - I do not care.

Perhaps such thoughts are foolish - maybe in the end I will only be hurt proportinate to the amount I feel toward him right now.

Yet, even so, the risk is worth it. I'm happy, and afraid. Curious, and worried. I yearn, and dream, and sometimes I worry my heart might just burst with every word that is spoken. Even the silence that lingers between us has a strength to it. I wonder if I ever loved before now, worry if I'll never love this strongly again - and hope that I never need worry.

More accurately, my understanding of love has changed. I know my position, I know his, and I don't know what I expect. I don't know how I'll react - will I become jealous when the facts linger in front of my eyes? Am I so shallow that my words and resolutions will crumble when push comes to shove? Will I dive into a BDSM lifestyle only to find that I hate it? These fears sit in the back of my mind, relentless. Indismissable. Perhaps only time will answer them, but I know the outcome I hope for - the one I will fight for.

Win or lose, the risk is, however, worth it.

To me, at least ^_^

Shopping!

I HATE shopping. Despise it. Oh god the worst and most difficult thing to get me to do is go anywhere and look at clothes, accessories, furniture, cars, etc. I just don't care. Clean, functional, fine! It's perfect, let's get it and move on. Shoes? Do they fit comfortably? Alright, let's get 'em. Clothes, hell those can be baggy, don't. care.

I have had this outlook on shopping my entire life. Even when said shopping was for video games and such, I usually knew what I wanted before I even left the house and if not I could figure it out in 10 minutes. I'll admit, I'm dork and nerd enough I can spend some time looking around card huts and cosplay shacks, and especially the occasional Asian sword and clothing store. Generally though, I don't like to shop.

So last afternoon Master gets me online and we go shopping. Except I'm interested before we even start. Because this shopping, this particular variety, it is for all things non-vanilla. Now, I know some of what was bought, I might even be able to say I know half of what was bought. What I do know for sure is that as a thinly veiled belated birthday gift to me, Master dropped a hefty chunk of change. Granted, he's going to get just as much enjoyment out of this box o' goodies as I am, but still >.> I'm really excited to try some of this stuff out - or rather - have it tried out on me, and I'm well, flattered honestly. ^_^;

But now all I have to keep my mind occupied is what kind of trouble am I going to be in when we have our romp in a few weeks? What variety, what position, what magnitude? And for all that the rest of that stuff matters am I even going to be able to remember it??? Master has made me cum from his words for god's sake I'm almost afraid what he can do with accessories at hand!

I'm sure whatever happens it will be awesome. At the very least I'll be one deliriously happy cum-covered pet, and my Master will be quite proud of me <3

List 1 of many

15 of The Things I Want to Experience (In no particular order (and not all solely bdsm)) :

Note: I could say “Tie me up with rope and play with me for a few hours”, but let's be honest – this is less than helpful because there's just SO many variations. At the same time I could fill this list with nothing but variations. Here's hoping for a nice balance =D

1. Replace the femDom with a maleDom In this image and you have what is easily one of my longest standing fantasies. Oh the things you could with this situation...

2. The only other fantasy to have been around as the one listed before this is to essentially have my arms secured in some manner, be blindfolded and handed off and passed around to a group of people. There's a thrill about being touched, teased, and pleased and having no clue by whom. To be slowly (or quickly) worked into a shivering, trembling, begging, frenzy, dying for the kind of release that only a trusted dom can give a needy little sub.

3. There are a lot of variations that you can do with this . And not just all the different style of horses out there, but how you're tied to it, and with what. So many toys, so many delightful combinations, and a nice position for a worn out pet to be in – no need to worry about keeping your feet while Master plays

4. Hog tied – This is more one of those things that goes hand in hand with other things, but even on it's own I still want to know what it feels like.

5. Frog tied – Similar, obviously, to being hog tied, this one has a bit more specifics to it in that there's two things I'd like to experience while in this position. Taking the crop is one, and … /blushes getting eaten out would be the other.

6. Suspension. There's only one aspect of suspension that makes me even remotely nervous, and that's being upside down. The few times I have ever been upside down aren't generally very fondly remembered, so I'm not sure how I'd react – every other aspect of it? - is very intriguing to me

7. Just how many rotors can you fit in a pussy?

8. Spread bars. Oh the variations... Head down, ass up. Arms over head tied to the ceiling, feet barely touching the ground. Bent over with ankles and wrists secured to a single bar. Long bars, short ones, combinations of the two used at the same time. My legs have a bad habit of pulling in, and while it's yet to be tested, I'm sure spreader bars will help alleviate this issue.

9. Stocks – From the more traditional kind to something a little more fullbody , stocks in all their forms are intriguing to me.

10. Cosplays/RPs – Not all people can pull off all the characters they enjoy – but I like the idea of dressing up as something (anything really that my Master might enjoy xD ) most likely that's very innocent in action or appearance and just being used. If I had to give a specific example for this, what comes to mind is Chii – from Chobits.

11. Face fucked.

12. Cum on – Anywhere, everywhere. Face, tits, ass, back, stomach – all of the above. I just want to know what it feels like. ^_^

13. Electro-play. Thank god I have a Master who knows something about this, because I'm about as clueless as clueless gets in this category. There's interest, intrigue, curiosity, and desire like most wouldn't believe, I'm sure. Surprisingly, no fear – well, so long as it's Master at the controls and not someone else – then there would be fear,

14. Watched.

15. Any and all combinations of any and all things on this list. Let's be honest, it's fun to do things one at a time, it's fun to do many things at the same time. The idea is to keep everything shook up and spicy. There's no reason for things to get bland when there's just so much to choose from, and so many combinations and options to explore! <3

Denied

I could start with a lot of things for this first post, but thankfully my thoughts have been focused. Which works well, because they rarely seem to do that on there own.

I... don't really like sex. It's always seemed like a horrible chore for almost no pay off (Of course, Master has yet to get his hands on me, so I'm seeing this changing). Masturbation however, was quick, easy and felt -really- good. Also, it doesn't require anyone else - no waiting for your other half to be in the mood, or trying to *shiver* hunt down a one night stand. It's safe - you're not going to get an STD or become pregnant from masturbating. Needless to say, I'm a horny girl. I'd say horny pet, but I was horny long before I became a pet!

So I'd been up to, 2-3 orgasms a day. One to help me sleep, one to help me drag myself out of bed, and a 3rd on occasion if looking at porn or discussing all the wonderful BDSM things that are possible or just because. In hindsight, I probably should've kept this wonderful bit of information to myself - I mean, what proper upstanding young woman even admits to masturbating? Let alone so often. Once the proverbial cat was let out of the bag though, his tone of voice sure did change, and what should follow this amusing-to-him revelation? To call him, and cum for him or go to work horny and frustrated. That choice, while horribly embarrassing and not as easy to acquiesce to as I had hoped, was still fairly easy - I called him. I came so hard that my legs were shaking until about halfway through work.

Euphoric was the right word for it, believe me. I thought I'd experienced pleasure before then, but really I'd just licked the tip of the iceberg. Master, however, wasn't done. Something followed this fun new idea (I wanted to just call and fill his inbox with orgasms while he was stuck at work), that I really had no idea how to react to.

An order to masturbate, but not cum.

I'm pretty sure I dropped the f-bomb in a few creative ways. Tease myself, work up to that edge, but don't tip over it. I'd had other people mention such an idea in the past, but I'd never followed them. You had to be kidding? They wouldn't have known either way, and I wasn't particularly concerned about keeping them happy either. The idea to do as I pleased and cum anyway, never entered my mind. Oh I knew it was an option, but with Master? I'm still working on the why of it, but there's certainly something... about him. Maybe I'll figure it out someday.

Now, it's been more than 48 hours since I've cum. I've lost track of the hours, or even of how often I've worked myself up - teasing my sensitive little clit with one relentless rotor. At first I was frustrated and not entirely sure why I was being punished when I hadn't even done anything wrong as far as I knew. But once some time passed the frustration turned to something else. I still haven't cum, but I'm hornier, more sensitive. My WHOLE body is tingling and I'm not doing anything while I'm sitting here. I can't wait to call my Master, to beg and moan and plead for him to let me cum - and I'm not sure if I want to or not. I'm afraid of how hard I might cum, at the same time I'm also enjoying not cumming. I mean, won't this almost constant shiver disappear once it's sated?

I don't know yet, but whatever happens I'm sure it'll give me something else to focus on - until the jumble untangles enough I can write about it.