Quietly

The last couple times Master's let me cum lately has been during times when I kind of need to be quiet. Specifically because they are other people in the house, and while I'm an adult and I'm allowed to be naughty, it's not something I'm quite ready to advertise to the entire world.

It certainly adds a layer to things though, so wet so squirmy so horny and trying so desperately to not scream my happy little head off when the wave crests and my whole body enjoys the ride. Of course, Master doesn't let me cum just once, oh no, that would be too easy, wouldn't it?

For anyone curious, my house coat tastes like laundry soap. Just saying.

Even as I sit here and write this, letting my mind wander to what it can remember of the last two over the phone sessions we had, I can't help but squirm. Certain desires, certain wants, are starting to beat down the walls of my own personal insecurities. Less and less in my own fantasies do I seem to care about my own personal appearance. How I look on the outside doesn't impact my interior desires. It certainly doesn't impact the overall sensations of a scene either. The only thing my weight holds me back on are certain positions, because an over-weight sub isn't an easy one to pick up and move around as one pleases.

This will be rectified.

It used to not only be an issue when it came to what was actually physically possible, but also with what I was comfortable wearing/doing in public settings. As the days pass I find myself caring less and less about my appearance In That Regard. It's not that I mean I've stopped showering or shaving or things like that, it's more it's becoming less of an issue. So I'm over weight. Whoopie do. It used to make me feel... less, or ugly, but lately it's less well, weighty on my mind. I'm more curious the feelings and emotions that come along with being in certain, shall we say, showier situations.

Besides, the orgasm - while absolutely incredible - is just the icing on the cake. Everything else - the scene the sensations, the emotions, the connection - all that stuff's the cake. Cake can be awesome without icing. Icing on its own however is just kinda... meh.

Musing (Rambling)

So I have this tendency to just kind of sit and sigh and think about the relationship I'm in. (happy sigh! Happy siiiigh!). And I just really get to thinking about certain aspects of it, how it works, how it hasn't worked for me in the past, etc. (Oh hey, look my grammar doesn't care today... starting sentences with and...).

I realize as I get ready to write this, how weird it's going to sound, but I used to be the one in charge in a relationship. I didn't have to, you know, initiate sex - that's not what I mean. I mean I had to be the responsible one. Which wouldn't have been so bad, if I hadn't been the ONLY responsible one. I worked two jobs sometimes, lived off of rice for a month at a time, just to make sure that the rent and other such bills were paid. It wasn't fun, and it most likely was what led to a lot of my past breakups.

My current relationship is a lot more balanced. When my mind's mush and I can't really take on anything more, he's there to give me strength - and the opposite's true. This is proven already. But it gets me to thinking about things I don't really feel I need to come to a conclusion to - I just let my mind wander over 'em.

Like, does BDSM lend itself more to a kind of natural relationship balance? Is the extra open-ness, trust, and communication that's needed between a Dom and a sub something that simply makes it easier to have a healthy relationship outside scenes? Or is a relationship between two people who share a love of bdsm just as hit or miss as a vanilla relationship? I'd assume there's people out there (well, Doms specifically, since this is my point of view after all), that don't listen for crap. They do what they want and don't really respect and/or respond to their partner's needs or wants. Then you have something that's more abusive than anything else.

From what I've experienced of the Kink community however, there's some pretty open lines of communication amongst everyone. If you can talk to someone about the things that crop up mid-scene or shortly after - or even talking to people about fantasties you'd like to see come true, then I would imagine that it's easier to reach out to someone and get help.

But talking about kink isn't like talking about abuse. It's not easy. It's a shameful thing and it's really hard to talk about. A lot of time's the person being abused thinks they deserve it, or that it's not abuse, that it's the way a normal relationship is. And I'm sure there's people out there who think a bdsm relationship IS abuse, and complaining about it would be laughable.

If it feels like abuse though, it's Not bdsm. It's abuse. There's a damned bloody difference. I've been through both. Abuse made me feel small and worthless and alone. I wanted to die, to just get away from the supposed pain I had to be causing everyone else. It was horrible.

The relationship I have now is so much the opposite of that I don't even know where to begin. My Master makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful specialist perfectest person in the whole world! \o/ It's hard to try and describe it without making up words ^_^

Shotgun

Once certain things had been taken care of (read that as legal obligations handled), things slipped back into a very nice and very missed routine between me and my Master.

He gave me orders to go about my normal routine, meaning to masturbate at the times I generally do anyway, but that I wasn't allowed to cum. Fortunately he didn't drag it out too long, but I had work the night he started this, and was also expected to work myself into a near frenzy during breaks.

The part that made it hard to not cum? Taking pictures to show Master I was doing as told. I knew it was more because he wanted to see, and less because he wanted actual proof (he trusts me to be horny, I know =D ). But actually taking the pictures was almost as much of a turn on as working myself up to taking them. And the one I took while in the car (thank you heavily frosted morning windows...), was the most effective by far. The drive home was a little shivery, and it had nothing to do with the cold air.

It was the phone call that followed that afternoon, during Master's break, orgasms always feel better with his commands pushing them on. We tried something new, which was using med-tape to hold the rotor in place against my clit - during an orgasm or just because I'd get so wet it was hard to keep it in place. The tape certainly helped this small problem. When his break ended (add a small pout here), he said he wanted me to call and leave him messages, and cum at least two more times for him.

And holy crap did I! I actually came three times, I don't even remember how many before that, but what really sticks in my mind is the fact that I came hard twice in quick succession, and not too long after having cum before that. It was an odd rush, and while it felt great there was a little bit of fear and panic mixed in. I wasn't entirely sure what was going on, addle-minded as I was when it happened. It left me feeling good, the negative emotions didn't last long at all, but I conked out right then and there - leaving my Master worried because I wasn't responding to any of his texts.

So no tape on the rotor until he's actually around, just to be safe. Because while mega orgasm was mega awesome, it was also a bit unnerving to have happen when it was just me in my room. Still though, I had no idea I could do something like that, or that things like that even happened xD So the learning experience was nice, and hey - if I can shotgun orgasm I'm sure I can do other things <3

-:- The Drive -:- (Chap. 2)

Prologue  Chapter 1 >Chapter 2<

The car pulled into the driveway, it was silent in the neighborhood, veiled by the sweet blanket of nighttime. The silence was shattered when he opened the rear car door. Panting, moaning softly, he helped his tormented pet out, untying the binds at her knees so she could walk on her own.

He led her by a leash up to their front door, the rotors still whirring against her clit and nipples. Her wetness slipped down her thighs as she walked, her shivering body moaning and whimpering. He pointed to a spot on the mat in front of the door.

“On your knees, back to the door, pet.”

“Yes Master.” She purred as she obeyed his command as quickly as she could with her arms still bound. She opened her mouth as he approached her, licking his stiff cock through his pants.

“Such an eager little pet.” He praised her and she tugged on his pants in response, letting her actions beg for her.

He freed his stiff member for her and ran his fingers through her hair as she sucked and licked and moaned with him stuffed in her mouth. One hand tightened in her hair as the other dealt with his keys. He held her head in place as he fucked her face, pinning her against the door. Listening to her as she gagged and sputtered with his thick cock shoved down her throat.

The sounds she made as he fucked her throat seemed to ring through the still night air with more volume than she would've liked. He turned the key in the door and let it swing open, pulling his cock from her mouth and letting her fall back into the house. She wriggled back, pushing off the door frame with her legs to shove herself into the house a bit further.

He followed her in, placing his legs between hers, keeping hers from closing. He knelt down between her thighs and grabbed her legs, pulling her to him as he leaned down and sucked on her clit hard. Her toes curled as the sweet sound of her pleasure tore through the silence. His finger plunged into her sopping wet pussy, driving her sounds louder for a moment. He pulled his finger out and stopped sucking her clit when she was barely a breath away from cumming.

“OhgodMasterpleasedon'tstopnow!” She begged quickly, her words melting into each other. Her hips moved as she spoke, her legs shaking even as he let them go and she worked to keep them spread. “Please fuck me hard! Fill my naughty pussy with your cum, pretty please Master <3”

He grinned, a smile that would have normally unnerved her if she hadn't been so far gone in her own desires.

“But pet, the door is still open.” He placed the head of his cock against her pussy lips as he spoke. “The whole neighborhood will hear you, see you, they'll know what a dirty whore you really are...”

“I... I don't care Master! Please please I'm so close I want to cum again! I want to cum against your cock, please Master, please fuck me hard!”

He held her legs open by her ankles, and shoved his cock deep into her hungry wet pussy letting her warm greedy flesh take him all at once. Her cry was divine.

He leaned down and kissed her, forcing her legs wider and pushing himself deeper into her as he devoured her sweet sounds. Her body writhed and trembled under him and he into her mercilessly, not even slowing as she came against him, slipping one tight orgasm into another.

When he felt himself getting close he pulled out of her gaping cunt and turned his deliriously happy pet onto her stomach. Pulling her ass up into the air he toyed with the plug inside her for a moment before smacking her ass sharply. He did so several more times until her skin was pink and she was grunting against the pain. He knew now that he had her attention again.

He slowly pulled the lube-soaked plug out of her, listening to her gasp and squirm from the sensation of it.

“With you like this, my sweet pet,” he began to explain as his stiff cock pressed against her open asshole. “Not only will they hear your sweet sounds, but they'll get a much better view of your sweet cock-hungry pussy as you cum for me again.”

Pleasure tore through her once again as he pushed himself slowly into her, and her flesh stretched to accommodate his thick cock. She was practically drooling on the floor when he reminded that she still needed to ask permission before cumming again. She'd been a good girl the entire night, it would be a shame to have it end in a punishment.

“Th-Thank you Master,” she purred as his cock sunk into her completely. “Thank you for fucking all of my greedy holes tonight.”

“Mmmm, you're quite welcome pet, you've earned it.”

He wasn't too gentle as he began to fuck her ass in earnest. She'd had the plug in for quite some time, and there was plenty of lube inside her. She moaned and gasped, her sound filling his ears and the area around them. Her writhing was delightful, her begging was enjoyable, but the noises she made in uncontrolled pleasure was what he'd come to enjoy the most. Often times he'd gag her more to maintain his own control than to control her.

He felt his own orgasm drawing near, and he could hear the change in pitch of her moans. His pet would be begging soon, letting those luscious moans turn to sexy words.

“Master please let me cum, please I'm close and even.. even though I've cum so much already please let me scream for you one more time. Let... let everyone hear and see what a good little slut I am for my Master!”

He put his feet against the door frame, learning over and pushing his weight into her shoulders using the leverage to fuck her harder.

“Cum then, pet.” He commanded, breathlessly close to cumming himself. “Scream shamelessly for your Master, and hurry – cum before I do, or don't cum at all.”

Her cries of pleasure were somewhat muted as his hard thrusts knocked the wind out of her. He could feel her body tense and jerk underneath him, even pinned as she was.

He slammed himself into her hard over and over even as she spasmed and came around his cock even as he filled her ass with his own pleasure.

He took a moment to catch his breath, kissing her shoulders before sitting up and closing the door. Tired as he was there was more to do. He had his pet to take care of, and she lay before him shaking in after glow working to catch her breath, covered and filled with cum on the cool wet floor.

He untied her the rest of the way, moving her sore and stiff joints slowly. He tossed the ropes aside and lifted her in his arms. She sighed contently and nuzzled against him, for once too tired and lost in her own pleasure to yelp from being picked up. He walked to the bedroom, smiling at her cat like behavior as she rested in his arms.

Setting her on the bed he started a bath for her. He would spend the next half hour or so taking care of her. Letting her relax in the warm water, bathing her and rubbing the aches and rope burns out of her skin.

Afterward he would tend to himself, once she was warm and clean and slipping into sleep.